The last day of 2006

Resolutions?

Yep... they are all up there in my head.. prepared and set to move towards them.

Moving closer and closer to my 21st year on this Earth..Just a point to answer any burning desires of friends who are cracking their heads to buy me a birthday gift.. i seriously have nothing much on mind now.. dun want to waste ur money.. One thing that i will love to have is actually birthday cards with personalised and heartfelt wishes. That is quite and really nice to get lei! hahha.. Any other things that u guys are getting.. i think i will like ba. Sounds insincere? But really! haha.. Just buy me things based on ur understanding of me ba! heh =)

Just as i am getting closer to adulthood, my mindset still seems to be like that of a kid. Hmm. felt the stagnation of its development for the 2nd half of 2006. But, no more! heh.. 2007 shall be a brand new start for me as well as everyone i hope!

Happy New year!

I am back

????? ????????

When was my last entry? 22nd Oct! haha.. The 24th entry was not done by me, so not counted. Haha.. Why on earth will i scold myself stupid? Stupid. Haha.

The past two months or rather the whole of last semester i should say, had been a semester that i will never forget. Too too too much had happened for me. Be it emotionally, academically, physically or mentally. All i can say that i admit defeat. I was stretched to the limit. I have even become someone that i am not too sure to call Ai Lin le. Sounds scary? Haha.. no worries to all my dear friends, i am still the cranky old me, just that i have grown, i have seen more things that my views and perspectives are now wider- both for good and for bad. There are some things that i have figured out, some which i have not. But by now, i am no longer in the mood to search and find the answer anymore. Whatever will be, will be. Haha.. whenever i say this, i will think of the nursery rhyme.. or song if you call it.

There were times when i wanted to blog, but sitting in front of the com, i wondered what was there to share with people out there? Not that i have nothing to share, but maybe more of what i think i should share. The dark side of life depresses people, worries even more people, while the bright side of life is not bright enough to brighten up another one's life. The option of all options was to keep quiet. Now that i am back shows that i have moved out of that shell, that short term depression that made me so sick of all the things i have to do. I really want to hug all dear friends who had been there for me all these time, without them, i really cannot imagine what i would have done. All the laughter and tears, they are there to lend their shoulders and ears. Thanks thanks. As for my studies, i am no longer scare to face the fact that my grades are going to suffer this sem anymore. I have decided to work doubly hard next sem to pull up whatever i have dragged this sem. Not too early for my 21st resolution ba.

Was chatting with a friend online just now. He never fail to enlighten me, make me think really hard and ponder deeper about life. As a result, though he makes me happy that i am waking up abit more, he depresses me sometimes also. Nonetheless, happy to have someone like him around ba.

Christmas is coming!! haha.. so excited and i hope that it will be a fun event with my primary school friends. This holidays will be filled with workshops, tuitions, Openhouse meetings and preparation as well as meet up with friends as usual. Shall be leaving for malaysia gentings and a short trip to KL if nothing goes wrong. There after shall prepare to shift into hall to stay with my rommie angela liao! Haha. Prior to that means shopping and more shopping and that means money and more money needed! haha. It is ok, money is earned to be spent. More money to be spent for my upcoming birthday celebration if i decide to have one. Till now i am still indecided. Haiz. See how ba.

stupid ailin

Lee Hom Heroes of Earth World Tour 2006

Fantastic, marvellous, bravo and high can be considered understatement after my trip to the National Indoor stadium last night. Wang Lee Hong is simply talented to be missed. Enjoyed the concert from the start to the very end. Really feel that the money was well spent and fully utillised. Happy. It is really one of the real happy moments i have had this month. Haiz. Things will get better. My blog will come alive again soon. Just like i am going to be normal once again. Haa.. sounds like i have sth wrong sia.

I am in one of my depression moods again. Feeling so down now. Feelings of insecurity filled me and talking to Angela on the phone set me off again. Maybe I am too emotional, but whatever my dear friends say make sense.. I should talk soon. Cant remain silent for too long. Good luck!

Too fast? Too slow?

Haha.. I am not too sure what went on for the past one month. Everything seemed like a dream. I was overwhelmed by my work. Worked the hardest ever since i was born 20 years ago. Tried to stay focus on work while allowing myself to be distracted once in a while. Tried to fully maximise my time doing work, catching sleep, meeting frens and seafood platter. That was indeed tough.. but i survived. Now that it is the term break, i shall work hard and play hard at the same time. Things seem abit too smooth that it has become a little stagnant.. Though stagnant, i am not too bothered as long as we are happy. Though i will sometimes worry that things might not be right, i choose to believe the feeling i got and so, shall not let my imagination runs too wild. Think things take two hands to clap and sometimes i can be quite blur and stupid to get hints at the right point of time. Argh. So, bottom line will be let nature takes its course again.. whatever will come shall come and when it does, hope i am good enough to catch it and hold it tight with me. Now i will just give what i want to give and take whatever there is there so that i will have no regrets to speak of in the future. =)

Big fluctuations

School has started for me.. everything around me has been going at such a fast pace that i am literally gasping for air. The emotional swings from one event to the other really tires me.. One that affected me on the down side is the fact that i am no longer a chairman for band. The decision might seem like a bomb that dropped from nowhere suddenly, it is actually something that has been on my mind for as long as i remember. The dilemma and struggle inside is really hard to describe. The lingering thought and passion mingled with the practicalities of life and committments. Hard decision. I will miss band and CPS. I will miss the NBA and the ever so cute committee.. argh.I will miss the days of a bass tboner.. haiz. Shall stop here.

At the other extreme, i think i am lucky and blessed to seem to have a dream coming true... really thankful though don't know to who. Haa.

How i spent the last week of my school holidays..

Haha.. this heading sounds like a primary school kid's composition title huh? Yeah.. childlike after spending quite a large part of my time with kids..Got to recap all these so that i might help to make me feel a little better having to start school on tues.. though a day later than most peeps.. i am still on holiday mood.

Monday: (Strength: isleen,angela,ian,ee seng,namkhai,me,valmond,daniel,ashley,bingyao,khung xing and daphne) After some rest on sun after union camp 06, i met up with og hoping to salvage the memory card that stored a great deal of our nice pictures and videos.. However.. instead of doing what we wanted, the size of the og expanded(by those who left hall camp as they found it too bored) and we went around eating nice food..Headed for a sumptuous crab dinner at joo chiat followed by nice ???? at geylang. After which, we walked round the area to explore the even numbered alleys.. Though i felt excited at first, i felt quite bad after that for being insensitive. Though interesting it might seemed at first thought, it was kind of rude for us to go around like kids on excursion..Shall never do that again... Nonetheless.. had fun with og..after the walk around.. we continued our feast of ??? and ????.. though i could not take in more..the little bit i tried was enough to keep me tempted to go back for more.. yum yum..

Tuesday:(Strength: isleen,angela,ian,ee seng,me,valmond,ashley,bingyao and Shirley) Think the orientation fever was still hot in us that we decided to meet up for mahjong at ee seng's house once again.. It was when i catch my Pirates of the Carribean finally. I know it is abit lag but ya.. Nice show! I want to catch the second one before i missed it like Cars the last time. Hanged around watching Increadible Tales 3 after that..not as freaked out as the last time we watched at Angela's house.. guess the big group eased all tensions and fear after awhile. Short and simply outing.. like this kind of short gatherings.. it will be better with more freshies around..

Wednesday: Rested at home and accompanied dad before i went to do some relief teaching at serangoon. A short day with nothing much but enough for some adreneline rushes here and there throughout the day.

Thursday: Spent the morning at home with dad before he got on his feet and abandoned me. haha.. Glad that he was able to recover and left me alone at home while he went out to settle some stuff. First time that i felt glad being 'abandoned'

Friday: Met Valmond and Ee Seng for breakfast early in the morning. Abit siao on to like just wake up earlier and meet each other for breakfast ant Wa Jiao. Felt abit bad as i was the one who needed to meet early so that i can be on time for my next date later in the day. Nice people i have known =) Whooohooo! Went to JB with huifang and kim to satisfy out shopping craze after my nice breakfast! Spent over RM270 and i was home grinning. haha.. If i had no budget to talk about, my room will not be like what it is now. Shopperholic to the max. I brought the most money but was left with the least. Not even enough to let us have dinner at JB before we headed for home. Madness.

Saturday: Ubin outing with my beloved oac pals.. Such a long planned outing that we finally managed to get most of the gals down to sweat and cycle. Fun.. just that i am further blackened from where i was after the orientation camp. Need another half a year to get fair again. Boo.. The weather was good and we were adventurous. Went into the unexplored regions, scaled the top of the hill to see the overview of the beautiful quarry and cycled deep into the out of bounce OBS land. Haa.. I was nearly thrown off bike by a big monitor lizard that was frightened by me as well. Terrible scare but luckily i was firm to grip my bike and cycled on. If not, cheemin would have fallen because of me. Gosh.

Sunday: Tuition and shopping filled this last day of holiday for me. Started teaching pre primary one kids at the center today. Nixon and christina! whaha.. both of them made my day.. THEY ARE SO CUTE! Love teaching them.. time flies with them around. Just hope that they do learn and i can teach effectively. Met up with zhu tou in town today. Missed her and was glad that we spent time sitting down to catch up. Not really in the mood to shop.. sorry.. think i bored her a little towards the end. Too tired le.. then my heels were giving me problem as well..Shall meet up again!

Tomorrow.. supreme court outing with business law specialisation peeps.. I knew none of them.. actualli thinking if i should absent myself.. but i cant afford to be anti-social in this fac.. so.. yeah.. be friendly.. be myself!

Nurse for a day

Dad is sick. Really the first time seeing him so sick after living on this earth for 20 and a half years. Dun really like this feeling of helplessness. All i can do is to prepare food and medicine for him. The medicine didnt really seem to take any effect.

Please please.. let my Mr Strong recover really soon.

UOC 2006 23rd-29thjuly

Slept all the way from 530pm on 29th to 30th morning 830am. Could have slept all the way till noon if not for the fact that dad thought that i have tuition at serangoon in the morning. Boo. I have changed the timing for that class but forgot to tell mum..haha.. never mind.. guess i have slept enough as well.. as compared to the two to four hours each day during camp.

I am now Afro Senior, Aura junior. We are now the A group! =)
Time was super slow when we were in ntu for the first two days.. maybe due to the fact that we seniors have been running around the place so often that our legs were so tired out by the second day of the camp. At that point of time, i hoped that the camp will end soon. But as the days went by, we got out of ntu, went to sentosa followed by aloha at loyang.. time never seem to be enough. OG bonded fast, had fun and really went crazy at the chalet. So many things that we did that i am now too lazy to typed all of them out again. Glad that everything went on pretty smoothly for our group.. Though we had fun and stuff, i will not say that the camp on the whole was a good one. In fact, i feel that the camp last year was alot better. Maybe as a senior this year, i see alot more cork-ups and problems, but i am sorry to say that the main com did not do a really good job cos if they did, there would not be so many things that we,the A group seniors have in the list to feed back about. Haiz.. nvm.. shall credit them for whatever effort they bothered to put in.

Through this camp, the A group bond seems stronger and better be it between the afros or the aura bananas..as well as between the aura bananas and afro juniors...the super seniors were supportive and great in coming back to help despite exams and final year projects.. muacks muacks.. may the A group spirit be everlasting~

I have lost my voice again.. a standard outcome whenever i go for camp =p

School reopening next week.. excited and yet Boo boo.. haven play enough~

Trombone Chalet 2006@Cranwell Bungalow 2

Being there brought back memories of last year's orientation. Though it was a different chalet, the stretch of Changi Road just seemed so familiar and quiet.

The three-day-two-night chalet flew past in a twinkle of an eye. One of the most comfortable chalet so far as all of us have got beds to rest and sleep well.. Haa.. Though the creepy feeling haunt us a little bit here and there..everything was still fine except the fact that i used some shampoo that belongs to nobody i know. Yucks. . Shall try to forget that. Adventurous and sporty cyclist? haa. i see myself as more of a tom boy who gets crazy and is not too scare or careful to avoid injuries. Poor Xinru, must have scare her a fair bit by sharing the double bike with me.. haha.. Nonetheless, the trip was fun! heh.

Guess time with section is never enough. After checking out from chalet, we were still on for kbox at tampines but was saddened by the fact that it has shifted to marine parade! Alamak. Then, we decided to go to holland village's settler's cafe only to find out at their door step that they are opened daily from 2pm! Grrr.. Left with not much of a choice, we went to BK for lunch before deciding another round of card games at my house! hahah.. That's what i love abot section, ever so spontaneous and on to do stuff as long as time allows all of us to*muacks*

TOLL.. Something that helps me get to know my juniors better! Now that ade is almost squeezed dry.. my next target is shuhui,beng and vicky.. muahaha.. they had being too quiet! Let them off too easily everytime we have TOLL.. No more! hehh.. waiting for thw 20th for all of us to meet up again~

A rather meaningful mail to share :

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.

She was tired of fighting and struggling.

It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water

and placed each on a high fire.

Soon the pots came to boil.

In the first she placed carrots,

in the second she placed eggs,

and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners.

She took out the carrots,eggs and coffee and placed them each in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked,

"Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.

She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.

The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity --boiling water.

Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting.

However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile.

Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior,

but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however.

After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong,

but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart,

but changes with the heat?

Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup,

a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?

Does my shell look the same,

but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean?

The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.

When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst,

you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest,

do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,

enough trials to make you strong,

enough sorrow to keep you human

and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;

they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past;

you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

That's life isn't it? =)

Specialised in Marketing and Business Law

These shall be what is going to be reflected on my graduation certificate in two years time. I seriously hope that i can cope well and if possible, continue with the electives i have always wanted to do. Though those are really extra under the circumstances now, i believe i can do it and i shall try. So, that means that the coming two years in NBS is going to be a fruitful and rather packed school life for me. Work hard for the sake of the unknown future! haa, sounds ironic yea?

I kind of dislike holidays especially after last week. Not that i dont like a break, but just that this break gives me more time to imagine. And my imagination can run really wild and crazy. Dont like whatever I am guessing and trying to find out. This kind of guessing and pondering is driving me crazy. I rather everything comes to an end really soon. Maybe I have brought this upon myself. The word 'if' is a killer word. It gives people hope, anticipation and desires. But if, things are what they are expected to be, i should be happy. Sorry, I am talking to myself.

Section chalet is coming~ hehe.. looking forward to the ubin trip.. =)

SiCK

Boo. Think the weather is too hot and the lack of sleep for the past few nights gave rise to the sickness bug attacking me. It was terrible last night-Practically whined through the night with my whole body aching and head spinning. Glad that i am feeling better now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEN!
So sorry to cancel our date ya? Have a nice day~

Over the moon

Though i did something misleading and stupid today, i am glad that everything ended well. Phew.. Nearly died of heart attack! This is when frens play an important role =) So glad that yijing was there to offer a second opinion and help me calm down a little. Gosh, i can be really stupid sometimes. Haha, this is all I am going to reveal about my stupidity~

Had an imprompto sleepover at yijing's place yesterday. Haa.. This is the problem with girls.. Once we start talking, time seem to be never enough. Heh. Guessed we were both a little high yesterday-- did whatever we thought of and wanted to the moment we talked about it. I dyed her hair late at night yesterday. Crazy because there was no prelude, crazy because we just walked to the nearest 7 Eleven and grabbed the best colour dye that both of us agreed on. Crazy again because she wanted me to just highlight her hair but i stubbornly continued to dye the whole hair for her. She then requested for stricks of highlighted hair and bold enough, i toyed with whatever foil she had and ya.. dyed her hair~ haha.. As if all these stuff are not sufficiently out-of-norm, the supposedly ash-beige hairdye turns out to be golden brown when she came out of the bathroom. Haha.. I was speechless. Frankly speaking, the colour turned out to be something i like and prefer, but, the owner of the hair colour seems to not like it as much.. alamak.. "Hope U will get used to it soon, yj" =)

Met up with Weimin today! My dearest piglet~ haha.. She is still the same, so cute, so huggable, so innocent, so nice to talk and shop with! *Hugz* Distance indeed makes our hearts grow a little fonder.. Haha. We kind of combed the whole bugis in a short 4hours, leaving no sales unturned. Haha.. I really love GSS~ heh.. Got 2 of the tops i have eyed and wanted at only $21.60 when they used to cost $33 and $39.. Muahaha.. Really glad that i didnt succumb to those temptations and waited till today! Guess i didnt manage to contain my excitement of the good bargain that even the salesgirl looked a little shocked by my grin and wide smile. Haha. Wanted to have an ubin outing with everyone so that we can all get to meet up, but guess bigger group outings are always harder to settle.. especially when all the girls in question are reaLLY BusY people! Haa.. I will not give up. I am sure we will meet up soon~ heh.

Wore my Papillio already. They are gorgeous~ hahah.. actually maybe not really that beautiful but, i just like them. Yeah!

Expectations

With expectations, there are bound to be disappointments when these expectations failed to surface. Though i have asked myself to stay 'normal' and lower my anticipation and expectation, i cant help it but hope for more. Guess humans are all greedy and i am no exception. Things seem fine and perhaps a little stagnant, but it is better than nothing. Shall i take more initiative? I really wonder how. Toot.

Another disappointment

Seniors camp was something that i looked forward to- 2 days of fun and laughter. Even took leave and break from tuition and cafe to go. For the first day, Aura is one of the groups with more people. That is definitely worth commenting but for the second day, the almost full strength dropped to zero.. that's why i am now free at home to blog. Am I too enthu or are they the ones who are not? When we are together as a group, things seem fine and fun.. Reason reason? Haiz.. Really feel that we should meet up more in order for the camp to be a really successful one. Shall make use of this time to really take a break.

Bitchings

Had been bitching so much about my new manager that i don't mind bitching more about him though it takes up space in my blog. Being the operation manager, he does not even make the effort to mingle with his crew.. Does he expect us to suck up to him and try hard to smile and make conversation with him? Nah, that is something i will definitely not do. I thought he was just putting on his airs on his first few days, but guess what, when the crew consists of fellow au***** like himself, he was SO friendly and treated the rest of us as transparent. Yeah, it was obvious from that moment onwards that he don't like c******.. Or maybe because we were employed by the previous manager. Gosh. Last Sunday was the day that pushed me to the limit and the thought of working there under him simply makes my head spins and hurts. We were on the papers and hence business was super duper good. I was on the afternoon shift... customers kept coming and before we know it, the pies were sold up before dinner time at 7. I have nothing much to complain about the good business because with that business, i was occupied and time flew past really quickly. But, his presence made my day super tiring and frustrated. When we need the space at the counter to serve the customers, he was there chatting and making his so called 'friendly' conversation with his fellow 'mates'. I have nothing against that, but we just have to look at the appropriate time to do it. Just when we were having full house and people were looking out for seats to be cleared and trays to be emptied, we saw coffee cups and saucers meant for staff usuage on the tables, waiting to be cleaned and cleared. What is the point of having disposables lying there waiting to be used? He made a difference to the standard procedure of operations and above that, gave us more unnecessay work to do during such peak period. My hair was practically standing and what can be worse than being the only c****** left in the shop with him and his darlings. I decided to get away from him and walked into the kitchen to fold more paper boxes to handle the next possible batch of customers flocking in. What was he doing when the crowd ceased for a moment? He did not replenish the pies, neither did he help out with the paper trays which needs to be folded. He was there, taking up space at the counter chatting with his darlings. Anger, anger and more anger. I missed Sammy and my brother so much when they just left the shop for less than 45minutes to make a delivery. Argh. The next bad thing he did was his indirect causation of me receiving black faces from customers. I was making hot chocolate for the customer when he came over to ask if i know the 'right' way of warming the milk. Though i said yes, he went ahead to 'teach' me. And being a subordinate, it is only right to use whatever he had prepared to make the 'hot' chocolate. Though i felt that the milk was not hot enough, i used it anyway cos there was seemingly no reason and time to question him. What happened next should be predictable- customers complained and yeah, fingers were pointed at me. Fury! One Sunday afternoon with him nearly drove me to my grave. I was sulky for the next half of the day. As it was not difficult to make me smile usually, the disappearance of that curve on my face was kind of obvious that even Scot noticed it. Though jokingly, his reminder of 'service with a smile' made me guilty of letting some insignificant figure disturbs and irritates me. From then on, i tried to brush that irritation out of my mind.

Felt better after a good night's sleep.

i was on the afternoon shift again on monday. The moment i stepped into the shop, i heard that it was Sammy's off day! That's it. I WILL SEE THAT IRRITATING PERSON for the rest of the day. As usual, he left us alone to tend the counter. Soon, he was on the move. Of course i was elated to have him go, but on the pragmatic side, who was going to do the official closing with us? Closing was never done by part-timers ourselves. We need the manager to be around! He left happily after leaving behind his contact number and asked us to call him if there was any problem. yeah right.. there were lots of problems after that.. but it didnt seem that we need to call him at all. cos, there was nothing he could have done over the phone. First, we ran out of small change as the customers at our shop always seem to have $50 as their most available cash. We rushed off to neighbouring shops to change. Once this was tackled, we ran low of pies before dinner time. When the pies ran low, our $10 notes and coins ran low again. i started giving change of $40 in mixture of fives and twos and change of $1 with 10 ten-cent coins! Gosh. As we had another delivery to make at 7pm, we need to heat up the pies and send them over. and really lucky enough, the oven chose such a time to not function properly. The pies were not heated up and we were running late for the delivery. Can u imagine the whole shop was left with only three part-timers? It was just so coincidental that both of the chefs were out with Sammy for his off day. Yeah, our final resort was to call them and ask what to do when the pies and small notes ran low before the dinner peak at 7pm. As we had the urge to hang up the close sign with all these hiccups we were facing, we told them that all the pies were sold out when we actually had 4 left. Hah.. But lucky enough, we sold all 4 before they got back to the shop and started making all pies. I was never so glad to see Sammy. Haha.. At least i know that with him around, we have good workers' benefit.. not like that irritating figure who restricts our meals and drinks to take at the shop.

Frankly speaking, none of us there really like him and i am sure he has felt it in a way of another. But sad to say, he is making no attempt to improve the situations but in fact, doing more things to irritate more of us. Guess i will be jobless really soon. So much to bear when the pay is not in the first place fantastic.

Going to work again later. I really hope that he is not going to be there. Fat hope though.

Second Specialization?!?!?!?!?!?

A pleasant surprise :)

Decision making again~

First time

First time blogging in school not because i did not want to but most of the time due to the poor network being unable to load blogger properly.

First time leaving examinations hall early before the paper ends.

First time feeling so carefree and heck care about an exam even though i really did not know how to do quite a number of questions.


Second time

This is the second time in about a month that I am declaring holidays for myself. Haa. This time round it is really holidays as I will not be touching my books at all till 07.08.2006. Heh. Special term has ended over a twinkle of an eye. Sparks Goes Pop also ended in seemingly less than a minute. I have also moved on from the major emotional struggle to choose my specialisation that is going to accompany me for the next 2 years. A hard decision no doubt. I also hope that it is a decision that i will not regret and will hold on for however long i need.

Last time
Anything that i am doing for the last time? hmmm.. maybe to slack and not work hard ba. Resolution for the new semester will be to work hard and bring my GPA to greater heights. haa.

Results out

Better than what i expected. Haa. Seems like this is always what i say whenever i get back my results. Though it seems positive, on closer examinations, it is nothung fantastic, simply because i am always prepared for the worst-- seriously the worst-- that's why now i am feeling better with 'better' results. Guess this is a way i learn along the way to cope with imperfections.


Toot

We are both stupid. Really childish. Haha


Sparks Goes Pop.11th Jun 2006.Sunday.3pm.Esplanade Concert Hall.

Finally here. Hope everything that should end will end with these concert. I dont have anything special to bring away with just hope that the performance itself will be a memorable day for me to remember forever. Hereby wishing all success! jia you jia you!

Da Vinci Code

Nice show, but can be confusing if one is not good at recognising faces. Hah. Shall read the book if i cant tell myself to persevere to finish it. Hah
(sorry wen,read your tag only after i watched the show!)

Ultra Broke

$ never drop from the sky. Never am i a money controller. This hols is the worse so far. .Esp under the temptation of GSS...Boo~

Piper's Pies

Though lowly paid, working hours fly as customers have been consistent and the people there are nice so far. Still keeping my eyes wide open to observe and learn.. Just hope that i won't get scalded again. Hopefully the burnt that i got will not leave a scar.. argh...


Who haven watch Da Vinci Code?
i want to watch...

Sotong in dreamland

These few days had been kind of dreamy. Really dreamy. I did not really know what i was doing most of the time. Everything that i did was part of a routine and i just did them as how i was supposed to do them. Sounds really scary but i seriously think i need a break. Ironically, i am having holidays now... What is so tiring is something that puzzles me. I was tired last night,but, i was subconsciously awoke half of the time. Guessed that drained me further. Gosh. If given the chance, i would like to lose my memory for one day and then come back again.

Had a good talk with N that day. Kind of happy after the talk, but things are still not resolved and i seriously think i am the problem. I still cant make up my mind to decide what i want next. A greedy person is an unhappy person.

Mum is back in Malaysia.. and dad is lonely! haha.. no la, just feel that whenever mum is not home, dad will be all alone in his room..especially like yesterday, when all the three of us were out at night, he was all alone at home..at the end of the day, he ended up visiting his sis and chatted with them through the night.. it was kind of a weird feeling for me whenever i see him alone.. so,tried to keep him company by watching tv with him.. mummy come back soon!

Sometimes i am really stupid when it comes to certain things. That is why till now... never mind.. i shall stick to my usual belief--- let nature takes it own course~

3 jobs in 2 weeks

Had been job hopping and trying my luck to find a nice part time job that can accommodate me and my jumbled schedule with inter-sem lessons, band practices and tuition classes..

"Jobs are hard to find"

Such statements are pure excuses that i have used in the past. Hah. After lowering my expectations and putting in the effort to find a job, i managed to come across offers and widen my scope in my view and perspective of the world out there.

I did a CATI job with wen and i supposed i am still in the job as i haven get my pay no matter how meagre. It is a telephone surveyer job in which i got to call households using the phonebook and i am paid on a per survey basis. So far, i have only completed 13 surveys in 2 sessions. The own time own target flexibility allowed me to mia whenever i want. Hah. This hence allowed me to have the ease of going around trying new jobs and offers to see if i can take up.

Through my friend's recomendation, i went to interview for a event's coordinator's job which i went to work for 2 days. Now that i have seen their daily operations, i cleared my doubts and decided to leave. No offence to my friend who recommended me the job, but i think i am not suitable due to its outdoor nature and its long hours of operations that drain me from doing other things. Guess i am most probably not going back to the company.

Went for a cafe job interview and got the job already. Guess i am more suited for indoor working environment. My eye infection is slightly better.. but still got to rest a while more,sigh. The cafe environment was good and due to it being a new business, i forsee good prospects.. hAh.. Hope i am up to the job as when it comes to f&b, i am still a newbie..

Really tired out these few days. Lost track of all the days and dates. Shall take a good break before i start work once again =)

OG outing last week
OG gathered for our 'banana man' 's birthday. Guess he just have the ultimate influence on all of us being our big brother OGL. Every single one of us gave face and turned up to celebrate for him. All those (including myself), who have been mia-ing, turned up and stayed almost throughout the whole meeting. As such, the OG outing had been rather successful just that most of the seniors were busy. But for junior OG, full attendance! =) Though everything seems good and fun, i got myself into trouble with banana man. haha. Just hope that i can survive senior's camp free from his clutches. hah..

Thoughts
What are ethics and how do we define them? I suppose they differ person to person and i have high expectations for myself. Maybe i am idealistic, but whatever that is against my personal principles i simply cant bring myself to do it. I do not know if they are totally wrong, they have their rights and beliefs, but i am sorry, i just cant cross that personal barrier. Nonetheless, they are nice people whom i enjoyed being around with- so cranky and so fun to be with. But still, i choose to leave.. will miss u guys lots~

Contradiction

Wanted to spend my holidays usefully-- so i took up the special term paper

Wanted to work and save more money during this holidays-- Looking for jobs with good pay and flexi-hours.

How to have the best in both worlds? Naive!

Really happy to have met up with xxx today.You made my day! *Muackx* I didnt know why i lied to xxxx and xxx but the words just came out naturally when they asked the same question. Hah.. It is ok, that was a white lie, you guys will know it in a few days time.

Have been feeling down these few days. Maybe this is what i call 'prolonged p-m-s-ing'. I think it has a great deal to do with...never mind.. I know that things are different and hence the feeling is also different. The silent understanding that once existed is now gone. Whatever i did not say in the past, was felt and understood with that pleasant silence. But now, i have got to speak up, and by doing so,it is not doing anyone any good. So, i have decided to shut up. I have decided to give up. I might be looking at things in a rather extreme manner, but at the end of the day, my effort is kind of extra and not needed. So, what is the point of wasting my time and effort? I rather spend my time elsewhere. I have come to the conclusion that I will not give more than what I can take. A really selfish thinking I should say, but true enough, I have been disappointed. Actions always speak louder than words, so, say no more. I observe and I see. I feel and I sense. Whatever that was done, though minor, meant alot to me. Those intangible and little understanding and consideration are things that i have always treasured and appreciated. Now that they are not there, I am sad. All these are driving me away, I am seriously considering leaving. Though there are others whom i love to see and talk to, they are incomparable to those things that are pushing me away. Can I get away with that obligation?

Have you ever feel ever so alone even though you seem to have so so many friends in your phone directory?

No doubt that there are many contacts stored in my phone, when i needed to find someone to really vent out the agitation and irritation those things are causing me, the list shrank so much to almost nothing. I thought that no one would be so free to be there for all those grumbles, no one would be able to understand the dilemma and no one would be able to know how to help me because whatever advice that comes in will most probably be what i have derived myself. Contracdictory? My point is just that, at the end of the day, there is only me and myself to be depended on.

How best are the friends you used to call best friend? Never mind, i shall stop here before i brood and spoil my head further. Shall continue indulging myself in MARs again.

MARS

Rocks.. It has been so long that i have been 'absorbed' into a show. The last was 'Winter Sonata'. i was so bothered and into the show that i was depressed for a few weeks. I can foresee 'Mars' doing that to me now. I didnt expect myself to be captivated my Zai zai. Hah.. surprise surprise..

Really touched by it. There have been nice shows around recently, like Da Chang Jing, Zhi Zun Hong Yan and stuff.. but, this is different. Shall let myself indulged in it and enjoy the immersion of the real and yet unreal plots once again.

Job Alert

Think i am willing to take up any jobs that come along as long as the hours are flexible. Went to Conrad Hotel for a banquet waitressing job. Think will just take it up for the time being. Accumulate more experience before i really step into the workforce.

Still keeping a lookout on that kind of over-the-counter sales job where i can see more people so that i will not be bored with nothing to do. heh.. shall find one soon~

On my mind

Is guys' ego really ever high and almighty?

Is it always necessary to keep it THat high?

Are girls in university too 'high' and 'elevated' to be 'reached' by non-uni guys?

As i get older, these are really the issues that get hold of my thoughts sometimes. We are not so unreachable if they can cast those irritating ego aside. I do not blame them as it is an invisible barrier ever present and lingering, preparing to surface anytime, anywhere.

If someone ever ask me if i mind a boyfriend from poly/ite, guess my answer will be
"I don't mind if he don't, i will mind what he minds"
Guess it is said easier than done, but true enough, it is not so difficult if the feeling is true and mutual. Life is much more than what our certificates reflect and show. Grades might be a really BIG thing to some people, but what's that but a superficial piece of paper whose only purpose is to help me get a job in near future?

I supposed that is why Singapore's birthrate is not improving.. Education levels and disparity do play a part in segregating people and differentiating social groups.

What to do?

I supposed we are only 'open' to people in our own group. That is how limited and small our social circle is ba. Vicious cycle i must say. That's why we should be more proactive in getting to know more people, shouldn't we? Life is short, live it well and meaningfully! At least that is what i think.

When people say 'Hi' to you... will you say 'hi' back?

haha.. i supposed so.. even when you do not know that person i think would still reply.. Haha.. I supposed that is basic courtesy. Never mind, a Hi won't cause my death or anything. Just being friendly.

After rambling on for so much.. i shall now declare:

"IT IS HOLIDAY TIME"

Actually i am not as happy as i thought i would be. But maybe subconsciously i was. My last paper today was a 2 hour paper. I knew it right from the start but still, i let the sotong side of me took over. The paper consist of 3 questions, 3 sub-questions each.. i was one and a half hours into the paper and i still thought that i have got an hour more to complete the last question. I supposed heaven was kind to me in a way that a sudden realisation dawned onto me like magic to make me realised that i have only got 25 mins to complete one third of the paper! haha.. Needless to say, i rushed my way through.

I must have been glad that it was the last paper and maybe i didnt mind to actually stay back for another half an hour in that cold examination hall. Heh.

Thought of all sorts of entries that i wanted to type here when i was mugging. But now that i am here.. my mind is in a state of blankness. Whoo. How smart.

Went to watch 'Keeping Mum' today. A dark comedy i should say. Not too bad for a relaxation when our choices of movies to watch was so limited. Those nicer shows either not out yet, or the timing was just too late for the few of us. 'Reincarnation' looks exciting. Think i will want to watch 'Daisy' too.

Always got this sense of emptiness in me these days. Trying to find out the causes.. Not a good feeling i must say. Cant really discribe it, but it is disturbing. Nvm, it should be going away soon.

Bored.

My to-do list has never been so so long.. Haha..

Looks like my blog has just became a place i log on to just grumble and complain.

I want my exams to end! Immediately. Gosh..

lalalalalalalala..

Why does 2 days seem so long!?

I am already not studying.. this sem's results is going to affect my GPA.. sigh

What's wrong with me?

Lazy bum must be the culprit..

Need the luck in the world to create miracles...

Alive and Kicking

Have been digging my head in the textbooks that i have barely flipped for the past two months. Have been stressed and tensed, but finally, my mood got better this two days cos i only have two more papers to end my suffering.. Cant wait to get myself a holiday job after a rest from this hectic period.

One of my best friend asked me to go on a trip during this coming holidays. This is dunno the how many times i got a chance to go on trips with my friends but there is just this lack of enthusiasm from me. Though money constraints might be an issue, i realised that if the trip is to get me to some natural and beautiful landscape like my dream destination, i might be more than willing to get myself there. Though i like to shop, i do not know why the thought of a normal tour no matter to which country, still doesnt appeal to me. Let me consider again ba ya.. Travelling to another commercialised land does not seem to have any appeal to me at least for the time being. So.. shall save up more till i have the urge to go somewhere out there to spend it all away.. haha..

Okay, time to continue to be a studious me.. i am counting down to the 26th.

Happy April Fool!

Haha.. It is April Fool's Day once again. Time really flies.. People out there.. be careful and dun get trick today!

Dustbin
haha.. What a name! This was the name i gave him.. more than 11 years ago. Haa.. it is really a very very good feeling to have old friends remembering you and wanting to keep in touch once again. Thanks so much for this sweet feeling of being remembered. What's more, it has been 11 years. We were all so kiddish and ignorant.. Chatting about bits and pieces of memories that we both remember differently is simply hilarious. It is always times like this that i appreciate the invention of frienster. Hah.

Intensive Mugging
It shall begin TMR! i mean it.. i shd start before i cry! haha.. To all dear pals, whoever wants to mug outside, please jio.. i am looking for good spots to mug. i cannot stay at home- too much distractions.

Stretched to my limits

Work, family, commitments, projects, reports are really streching me to my limits. Having a bad headache now(can the weather help a little? it is freaking heaty la!), but managed to finish my two projects' writeup.. Finally. Now that the written part is done, there is still presentation to go! One week to prepare.. I really hope that we have enough time. My individual presentation also next week. Though i have long prepared and taken the pics, i still have problems putting ideas together to put my point across.. It is going to be 20% of my entire course assessment.. Cant screw it man.. Need to get a top and new pair off heels before friday..have been wearing trh same set of clothes for my presentations! Grrr.. time for a change to freshen everyonr.. Helpless, but there is no way to escape the protocols. Heels are entering my life.. used to be feared, but now, i am starting to like and get used to them.. There are pros and cons.. one major being, the other has to be really tall for me to look up to.. haha.

Angela Chang's Campus Concert

Waha!Managed to have a breathe and let my hair down for her concert last friday. Her live was good! She simply made me like her songs even more! POwerfully small girl.. But, good things never last.. she was there for only half and hour! We have not even warmed out seats then enchore le! Sang a total of 5songs.. so little as compared to Ping Guan the last time round! Not shiok.. haah.. nonetheless, she is really pretty~

Charis and Jonathan's wedding

My cousin is so so so pretty! I seriously think that my cousin-in-law is blessed! haha.. Attended their wedding does make one happy and feel blissful for them. Thumbs up for all the planning and preparation. Everything went on so smoothly and good that one is enocouraged and motivated to get married soon! haah.. Sounds exaggerated, but i really mean it.. Though i dun want to and will not be getting married so so soon, when that daycomes for me, i want it to be beautiful like hers.. so prim and proper.. so sweet and beautiful.. She is really fortunate.. =) Guess that moment can be one of the most important for every woman..Feel so happy for her! heh..this is really stark contrast to my dear ming gor's wedding last month. I really got thrown off the thought of getting married after their wedding.. Everything was in a great mess and disorder.. quite a bad memory to have for a wedding day.. and he is our eldest grandson for my mum's side.. haiz...so screwd.. bottom-line.. good and detailed planning is really needed to make that big day beautiful.

Ma is not feeling well again.. Whenever she is down.. i will soon be.. mentally and physically.. What's more.. now is the deadline period.. Quizzez are on their way too.. my slack timetable doesnt really help much also.. attended only 3 tutorials and 1 lecture last week.. never feel so happy and right ponning ever.. Guess this is the price to pay for a three-year accelerated program..

Get well soon!!!!

i will survive!

Bowling tournament

Haha.. kind if really lucky last sunday when we had the bowling tournament. I was glad to be paired up with wenrui, who is really good as he managed to groom a gao tu like me! haha.. Bhb i know, but just kidding la! I really had fun that day. This made up for the need to wake up so early on a sunday morning. We got second overall!! Haha.. lost to the top team by two points only! If only wenrui never tried his stunts.. haha.. but who cares, we all had fun! I am looking forward to spend the swenson voucher with the other two winning teams.. muahaha..Though the place brought back some should-be-forgotton memories, i cant be bothered with the fun.. Nothing to do with the alumni, it was just me and part of the memories. Nvm. Haha.

OlDer
Will be attending my cousin's wedding this coming Saturday. Looks like this year is a good year for marriages as this is my second invited wedding dinner for the new year. Suddenly, reality dawn on me again. We are all growing up, dating and marriage should not be viewed as being far from us. Scary! I dun want to grow up so fast! haha

On Leave
Exams is just three weeks away??? wah! cant stand it.. I really got to start studying.. ah! ~breathe in.. breathe out..~ i will survive and kill this devilish semester! On leave from band le.. but will go back if necessary..

Disappointed
Received the mail for choosing my specialisation already. NO option for my dream course.. it will not be available for my batch.. *faint* hopes dashed.

Photos photos..
Went around taking pictures for my 114 presentation just now. Thought it would be kind of awkward and difficult.. but i was really lucky to have two great frens' help =p..as such the photo taking process turned out to be kind of fun.. haha.. It seems a little ironic as i have never appreciated p.m as much as i did just now..As i looked and tried to think of what kind of pics to take, i start to see more at the p.m. As the years passed by, my idea of p.m changed from a place with nice food to one that sells pirated cds and till yesterday..a place with nothing more than just snacks and civilians clothes. But after today's examination of the different kinds of food, my impression of it starts to change once a again.. Now, there is a greater sense of appreciation present.. haa.. i am not eliminating the possibility that this appreciation stems from the need to make sense of my presentation.. haha..

RAE
The week flew by like nobody's business.. was kind of glad that the event was over.. and is even happier and looking forward to the post event dinner from zu er.. haha..though i am not a glutton like what he calls us to be.. a treat is always something worth looking to.. =P

Final Destination 3 & Capote
2 very different shows that left thoughts as well as fear lingering...

Deadlines
A plan to organise my activities for the next 2 weeks throw me into a state of panick and fear that i am going to miss my bed once more.. two projects to be settled and done. Readings and films to be read/viewed and digested for my test(50% of total) next week..my presentation slides and preparation for in class assignment.. individual writeup as well as to start touching my text for my coming finals.. saddening thought! ah.. i need my 48 hours a day once more~

Five

You. i am kind of disappointed. I really think that i have been proactive.. tried to maintain the relations.. tried to update you, tried to meet up.. just in attempt to keep in touch. But i have been sad to feel that those attempts were not really appreciated. Were they felt in the first place? The distance is widening.. definitely. But i seem to get the feeling that u dun mind. Maybe u think that i am oversensitive, but ya, it is ur insensitivity that is making me feel worse. i definitely hope that i am thinking too much.. Given the workload now and the never-seem-to-get-lost flu bug, i am really abit too tired to handle such emotional stuff.. Letter written but not given. Email sent but not acknowledged. hMM.. i really wonder what more can i do. I tried not to do anything today, see if u will contact me.. you didnt. i really find it weird. something is missing in this relationship. haiz.

u. u appear to be friendly, nice, amiable, easy-going and simple. But apparently, after a few incidents, i think that u r not as simple as i thought. U r deep..deep enough to scare me a little.. i thought of you as too harmless and beautiful already. i hope that things will not be too hard in the future.. but as of now, i think that it is not a too positive start. i am seeing another side of you. Please dun give me the feeling that you think that i am extra or that i am inferior to any of you. i am as competent, if not more. Silence is not always consent.

you. i am constantly worried. Please take care of yourself. you are really important to us. without you, i duno what will it be. you are the best.

YoU. i really hope that you will reconsider your decision. as much as i want to respect your decision, i am selfish. i really hope to have you around once more. i really feel the difference and i miss you all.

YOu never know that every little single thing u did/said can affect me.. be it directly or indirectly. Cant say that i am not emotional, but still, you will be surprise if you know what has been going on. nvm, i m grouchy

Two is a company, three is a crowd. This saying is never too old.

Flu bug bugginggggggg


Tired.

DOWN

Msn down

Hotmail down

wat can be worst? cant receive files to do the piling up work.

Opening a gmail acct soon.

People do take note.. my modes of communication is now reduced to yahoo mail (bass_tboner@yahoo.com.sg) and handphone. Seriously think that i am cursed.

Hair is standing.

Grr.

MIA
i was totally not online for a week! Can anyone imagine that!? Gosh, even i myself dun believe it. Sometimes i really doubted if i belong to this new IT age.. haha. As a result of this, i got tonnes of mails and for some of the supposedly urgent stuff, i read it late. Oopz.. Too late for ammendments. I m sorry.. didnt mean to be irresponsible. Really sorry. i felt like being a hermit for a week and i did.

Him(s) n her
Quite an eventful week for me. Met quite a few people i haven met for some time. Some made my day while some simply spoils it. Of the 4 hims, 3 out of 4 made my day- so, i shall stop grumbling. haha. Not being a sexist here, it just happened that i bumped into guy friends more this week.. Really felt good catching up =) One of them was like my brother's friend la, my 2nd big brother who is my brother's best friend. Haven seen him ever since we shifted to bukit panjang.. saw him in NTU once, but he didnt see me.. and finally, met him again today.. i kept staring at him and he did the same.. seemed kind of dumb, but that was really what we did. Think he must be wondering what was my problem till he finally realised who i was as he exclaimed my name.. haha..so funny. Didnt expect him to remember my name after like 10 years.. so nice =) There is a she who spoilt my friday. What more can i ask to get a teacher better than her? Gosh. Really really haven been mad with a teacher ever since sec4. (-_- ''')

Recess = No recess
Though this semester is supposedly more slack, there are more individual assignments and work.. so, i can foresee how my recess week is going to be spent. How to study? The modules this sem are more theoretical and that means there should be minimal last minute studying. Help!

Valentine's Day
Going to be another highly commercialised day with lotsa expensive stuff to be sold everywhere..dear lovers, it is the thought that counts, save the money for a better dinner on any other day. With genuine feelings and chemistry, any day can be a Valentine's day..Happy Valentine's Day to all~

A different Chu 1

First time in 20 years of my life living on this world that i spent new year in singapore. I have never thought that the feeling can be so weird. There is simply nothing much to do. Visited two of my relatives, one of them being my elder uncle and his family. He is my father's brother. And mind you, he is just like another mould of my dad just that they are of a different shade.. hahah.. By right, being the few Yeos in the family, we should be the closest and the more closely knitted cousins. Ironically, we are not. Instead, we sat in the living room and watched scv programmes. That silence was defeaning. Nothing came out from our mouths. My brother's girlfriend, visiting with us for the first time, was also shocked by the awkward silence. Really sad isn't it? All i can say is that we have never been close. Maybe they carried and played with me when i was a baby, but as a baby, how much can i remember from these two sisters? The first line that greeted me from one of them is, "oh AiLin, you have grown so tall!" ya, right, i have grown taller than both of them. Gone were the days when i raised up my head and stare at them telling myself that they are my dear cousins. Though distant we might feel, it is still a fact that we are the Yeos. I think it will be really sad when in the future(without our parents) we will turn out to be strangers who will never be in contact. I can foresee that coming. Sigh. Guess we are all pretty helpless about this. The age gap is one factor and the serious lack of contact is another. Nonetheless, there might be miracles. haa. One happy thing about this awkward visiting is that my uncle seems really happy. One thing, he dotes on his brother- that is my father. Second, think he loves my elder brother being the eldest Mr Yeo in my generation. Seeing my brother with his girlfriend, i can sense this underlying blissful feeling floating around in the big and silent house. haa..

happy new year too all! Cant wait to lay my hands on the table to...muahahah.

CNY 2006

For the past 20 years of my life on this planet, my new year has always been spent in malaysia. Suddenly, mum says that we are not going back this year. Lost. Being one who always feel that malaysia has got more 'mood' for new year, i am reluctant to stay in Singapore. Just feel sad that i am going to stay home. Argh. However, on the other note, i can start to jio friends for new year gathering.. precisely due to the fact that i am always away, i can only go for gatherings in the second week. Now that i am so free suddenly, i feel lost. All of a suddenly, my "new year mood" is gone. Hopefully visiting to my paternal relatives can make up for this loss.


Individuality

I do appreciate differences, individuality and diversity. These are the things that make life interesting and exciting. Individuals i feel, should have their own style and characteristics. I am not saying that we should try too hard to be different but, at least have your own traits and unique characters. Everyone is special, so why cant you just be yourself? I am getting irritated. I am not trying to say that i am so unique and nice but ya, stop giving me the feeling that you are trying to be like me! Gosh, this kind of feeling is terrible. I have always thought that we are quite close friends and close friends are bound to share similarities. Ironically, i love that kind of similarities and 'chemistry' between friends. However, whatever you have been doing is not chemistry and it kind of turn me off. It starts to make me dread hanging out with you. Please please, i don't know how long i can stand this kind of irrtation if you call it. I am not trying to be an almighty to say that i am super cool or imitatable but ya, i just detest the idea of having someone who seem to dress and talk and feel like me. That is scary, isn't it? Then i might as well call you ailin right? Grrr...maybe i practicing a little exaggeration here but ya, that is what she is doing. I seriously prefer people who have a better sense of self. How nice is that to have what i shared with you broadcasted and twisted to your advantage? Guess you are a little more than who i think you actually are. Time to open my eyes wider.

Alright, i shall stop all my grumblings. It is New Year! Muahaha.. CNY resolution- go around visiting! To as many places as possible! May all get as many ang baos as possible! heehee..
4 days holidays! yeah!!!

Being in Singapore this time round, i shall be proactive and start organising gatherings. So, the following group of people(in no particular order) who read this, please sms me to say when u free if you are also interested in the gathering k? Then i will arrange a slot when most can make it. =)

1. 2d gang-- mahjong?? muahah..
2. Section-- go k song at chevrons like last year? or a simple gathering? 5th/12th
3. Jc pals, meet on chu san(31st jan) for mahjong?muhaha..
4. Xiao Xue gang-- lao gui ju, visiting ard bukit panjang? 5th/12th feb?

Sms me k?? and help me ask around..cos i am sure not all will read this in time or even at all.. haa..try to not tag as a response.. cos i might not read it myself.. hahah.looks like new year is nothing much but spending or trying to earn money. hahah.. good luck and fortune to all!

Pretty hopeful about what is going to go on in alumni. There seem to be many things to look into on agm on the 11th. Hopefully things will turn out well and smooth..Hopefully all can come promptly and contribute wherever possible k?

Have a happy, joyous and funfilled new year to all!

~~tata!~~

Ang3 gong4 gong3
Guess my hair is something matching the New year this year. Maybe a little too jing bao for many but yeah, i am still pretty please with it. Though the colours i have chosen did not really appear, the resulting combi is not one that can be easily obtained. haa. I have chosen brown as my base colour, red as my highlight, but at the end of the few hours, i see more than two colours appearing on my hair. There is red, there is also a slight variation of red- pink, gold-which i dunno where it comes from, and of course the brown which turned out to be lighter than what i initially wanted. So, people can let your imagination runs a little wild to imagine me in my new hair colour now. =)

Cultural Night 2006
A reunion night for the chance to meet old friends who have not been in touch for so long. I am also glad to see some of the teachers who hasn't seem to change much ever since my graduation. And of course, not everyone has remained the same, some of the teachers who were Misses, have all turned to Mrs and one is even pregnant with a baby! wohaha..

The performance was alright, though not fantastically impressive, it was kind of touching to see the juniors performing and showcasing the various cultural performances all together. i believe, there are few other schools which have such an ability to have all cultural groups reaching and maintaining a certain level of excellence in their field of practice. Kinda proud to see that kind of ability in my school. =)

Tourism and hospitality specialisation
Waha, suddenly, i feel an urge and a constant motivation to study simply because if this new specialisation that will be implemented at the end of this semester to my Nanyang Business School! hhahah.. it seems like a dream come true for me as this course has never been in history, be implemented in Singapore! The 5 existing specialisations though interesting and useful, did not appeal much to me because i do not really have any special interest in any one of them. One reason for me to get into NBS is partly due to the hospitality course available in one of our exchange universities overseas. Now that it is available right here in Singapore, it just makes me feel so lucky to be at the right place. Haa.. No matter how much i have previously said to dislike school and uni life, i am now positively different. Guess it is the goal established that marks the difference in my attitude.Praying hard to really get in there.

Chinese New Year
Yay! 4 days hols for the coming weekend.. so happy=) i want to go new year visiting!! haah.. but before that, i have got to shop for more bottoms. Gosh, new year is one week away and i feel so unprepared.

Turning 20..


The process of turning 20 was a really happy one. All thanks to my dear frens and my family.. those who rmb and those who even took the trouble to celebrate for me. I seriously felt like a little princess for the past few days.. all the way from 6th jan till 10th.. u guys really accompanied me through my birthday. *hugz* Everyday feels like a birthday even till now.. Thank you so much! Happiness and more happiness is all i have to say about this year's birthday.. really thanks alot all of you who have made my it a memorable one. For my 2d palz, no worries about not being able to meet up that day k,cos it is partly my fault to postpone the whole thing.. love you guys as well! haa.. My family has been sweeter this year too.. haa.. in the past, it will be a simple dinner at home with nice dishes cooked by ma.. but this year, we went fiesta! haha.. then everyone from my dad to my younger brother treated my extremely well.. dunno why, but they managed to make my day special and different from usual.. touched and nearly melted from head to bottom.. nearly cried again.. but luckily they didnt see the watery eyes..if not i am sure my tap will be turned on again.. Suddenly, i hope this little dream will never end. Dun feel like going back to face my tutorials that are stacking up..Boooo.

In short, turning 20 isn't as bad as what i thought. A really really BIG HUG and thanks to all my frens ranging from primary sch ones to sec,jc,uni and frens from alumni band..Thanks for all sweet msges,nice and expensive presents and cakes, sumptuous dinner and lunch.. Thanks for all the thought and effort put in k??? muacks. nOT trying to make a big thing out of my birthday, but just a sincere and thankful entry to thank all who made my birthday a memorable one.


All i know now is---to remain young, i have got to stay young at heart! haha..

I am getting closer to adulthood.

Hey you-know-who..

you never fail to surprise me with so sudden and realli jing bao news. They either surprised or really shocked me to the limit. Don't worry and be happy k? Got anything to shout, to share, to cry or to laugh, feel free to look for me yea? msg,page or call.. yea, take care and remember, there is always sunshine after the rain, no matter how mild that is! =)

hey, if u like someone got to let that person knows right? No point pondering,fussing and thinking so much alone. You have got to know how the other party thinks too. The worst u get out of a confession is rejection, when there is no confession, playing mental games can be more torturous than anything else. Be bold, for once. If there is pain or anything, it will heal with time. But if the outcome is positive, it will be so much happier and blissful. Words are often easier said than done, who doesnt know this? There are always so many things to hesitate, to worry and imagine, these nagging thoughts can be never ending. So, why bother? Follow your heart and face all that comes out from that decision. Good luck.

HapPY BirThdYAY, AH fanG!

Now that it has just past midnight once again. I seriously dun know what is wrong with me, but i am sleeping less and less each day. After a havoc partying on 31st, i slept for 2hours and stayed awake almost the whole day till now.. it is 2nd of jan now. wah! really crazy me. Now that it is 2006, i shall have my resolutions written out in details after a brief one in the previous entry.

Guess i will once again optimise the usage of my time to the fullest once again. But for this year, more time shall be allocated for me to rest and more private moments for myself. Haa..sounds quite wrong, but all i mean is to get more rest and have more free time to do anything i feel like at that moment in time. Shall try to moved away from too much heavily packed activities, More self restraint! haa

Results will be an area of concern to work on. Though my grades are alright now, i shall not stay complacent as i believe i can do better. Though with that thought in mind, i will try not to stress myself with that cos i am one who perform better under less-stressed life. Shall just give my best.

More time shall be given to my family, play a more active part at home rather than being one who seems to be taking more than what i am actually giving.

Be a better tutor. Haa.. shall be my next resolution. Other than to achieve my strive to top up my bank account regularly, i shall really make sure that i will continue to try to improve their grades no matter how naughty and lazy they are. These are the reason why they need me and i shall do my part as nothing can give more satisfaction than seeing them really learn and get their grades improving.

As for alumni band, i hope that merger will be smooth and the band can tide through this period as it is a pretty crucial thing for the combined alumni. Once the merger is settled, there are bound to be changes and we will need time for the whole band to settle down and move on from there for the future as one band. Hope things will be smooth-sailing..

For this last little resolution, i shall be frank to say that, i hope to get a bf, who can be there to listen to me, be there to share all joy and laughter with me. Though i always say that i have no time for another person in my current life, there are still times when i wonder how different and good things might be to have a companion around. Think the one i need cant be a sticky type, he has got to know that we have got our own social circles and life too. Best if we have the same interest and liking, so can do stuff we like together..haa..sounds like a sweet dream..hee.. Still, i can only let nature takes it own course and can only say that, good things are worth waiting for. haa.

Let's see what's up for me in the coming year. haa..

2006

How can i not blog on this nice and first new day of this going-to-be-great 2006? After a series of havoc and partying, 2006 creeped in quietly, sending 2005 to be another chapter in the archieves. Looking back, i seriously think that 2005 flew past me. Seriously,it did flew. Half a year was spent working in NYP, and the rest of the half was almost fully taken up by school, tuition and band. They are the fixed activities.. and of cos, my personal social life, with all the surprises, unexpected and funny, sad experiences took up the rest of my life in 2005.. Should really say that i have grown up and really seen more things that are happening. With such a rich and memorable history, i anticipate another fruitful 2006, to better enrich myself, to better cope with challenges and pitfalls in life. There is definitely more to be absorbed as i slowly approach adulthood--though a little reluctantly