Sunday, May 20, 2007


Dead blog struggling to keep alive

Now that i am feeling a little more free, i decided to come and update and hopefully, will have sufficient perseverance to keep this blog going.

One reason.. though not the main, for not updating this blog is that i feel that i have moved very far and grown alot from the last time i deposited my last entry here. Be it in terms of thoughts, personality, ideas or mindset, i feel really really different. The sight of this blog skin just adds on to this idea. Haa. Time for a change of my blog skin.. but i am just too lazy to revamp it. Any offers to help? Heh.

After having my attachment for the first week, i should, at least up to now, feel that i am pretty lucky as compared to my fellow interns in the same building. At least i see a point in doing my work and at the same time, it is something i enjoy doing. Though still a small fry with no power in decision making, this small fry is opening her eyes really wide to take in and absorb as much as she can :)

People come and go in our lives and there are just some people that you hope will be in with you for the rest of your life... I don't really know where is the source of this pessismistic thought, but recently i am seriously thinking that people are living my life.. quietly and silently. As much as i would like to hold on to them, something is missing, not there to hold me and them together. Maybe time is a factor, maybe priority is another. Nevermind, whatever will be, will be. As long as i have tried to preempt it, i cant do anything if it is still going to happen. Treasure days with them around for now.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

9th Jan 2007

Today is the day.

The fact of being a 21 year old is sinking in. Slowly, but truely..

Epiphany. A literature term i learnt from my JC lit tutor. Suddenly, i feel like a grown up. Sounds really crappy, but it is true. Almost 3 days of celebration made me really high and now, I am coming back to reality- a place where i have a rather brand new feeling and attitude towards. I guess my blog is suffering a slow death, reason simply being i am not as opened as i used to be whenever i blog now as compared to before. I used to treat this blog as a place for me to express all my thoughts, gratifications,hard feelings and happiness. I was open and wanted people to know and see how i feel. But now, i no longer see a need to vent my anger/express my feelings here.. A positive/negative change? i am not too sure either. I found it really hard to blog recently. Stared blindly at the screen and then gave up the thought to write le..Guess it is just me to express whatever it is up there out and to everyone and anyone appropriate. But now.. haha.. maybe i am just lazy to do that. It is okie, one or two good, interesting entries here once in a while should be good enough.

Thanks for all the nice greetings, dedicated efforts and presents from my dear friends and family. Special thanks go out to fang,marcus,kim,yj,john,wing,angela,ian,xinpei,cousin coco and cousin-in-law..
Calls and cards from overseas never fail to warm my heart further. Thanks weimin and eve! Overseas call not cheap ah!! Really value that thought.

Shifting some of my stuff into hall today.. A rather symbolic day indeed. Haa.

OKie.. getting myself back from the holidaying mood and time to charge!

No longer a 20 year old.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

The last day of 2006


Yep... they are all up there in my head.. prepared and set to move towards them.

Moving closer and closer to my 21st year on this Earth..Just a point to answer any burning desires of friends who are cracking their heads to buy me a birthday gift.. i seriously have nothing much on mind now.. dun want to waste ur money.. One thing that i will love to have is actually birthday cards with personalised and heartfelt wishes. That is quite and really nice to get lei! hahha.. Any other things that u guys are getting.. i think i will like ba. Sounds insincere? But really! haha.. Just buy me things based on ur understanding of me ba! heh =)

Just as i am getting closer to adulthood, my mindset still seems to be like that of a kid. Hmm. felt the stagnation of its development for the 2nd half of 2006. But, no more! heh.. 2007 shall be a brand new start for me as well as everyone i hope!

Happy New year!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

I am back

????? ????????

When was my last entry? 22nd Oct! haha.. The 24th entry was not done by me, so not counted. Haha.. Why on earth will i scold myself stupid? Stupid. Haha.

The past two months or rather the whole of last semester i should say, had been a semester that i will never forget. Too too too much had happened for me. Be it emotionally, academically, physically or mentally. All i can say that i admit defeat. I was stretched to the limit. I have even become someone that i am not too sure to call Ai Lin le. Sounds scary? Haha.. no worries to all my dear friends, i am still the cranky old me, just that i have grown, i have seen more things that my views and perspectives are now wider- both for good and for bad. There are some things that i have figured out, some which i have not. But by now, i am no longer in the mood to search and find the answer anymore. Whatever will be, will be. Haha.. whenever i say this, i will think of the nursery rhyme.. or song if you call it.

There were times when i wanted to blog, but sitting in front of the com, i wondered what was there to share with people out there? Not that i have nothing to share, but maybe more of what i think i should share. The dark side of life depresses people, worries even more people, while the bright side of life is not bright enough to brighten up another one's life. The option of all options was to keep quiet. Now that i am back shows that i have moved out of that shell, that short term depression that made me so sick of all the things i have to do. I really want to hug all dear friends who had been there for me all these time, without them, i really cannot imagine what i would have done. All the laughter and tears, they are there to lend their shoulders and ears. Thanks thanks. As for my studies, i am no longer scare to face the fact that my grades are going to suffer this sem anymore. I have decided to work doubly hard next sem to pull up whatever i have dragged this sem. Not too early for my 21st resolution ba.

Was chatting with a friend online just now. He never fail to enlighten me, make me think really hard and ponder deeper about life. As a result, though he makes me happy that i am waking up abit more, he depresses me sometimes also. Nonetheless, happy to have someone like him around ba.

Christmas is coming!! haha.. so excited and i hope that it will be a fun event with my primary school friends. This holidays will be filled with workshops, tuitions, Openhouse meetings and preparation as well as meet up with friends as usual. Shall be leaving for malaysia gentings and a short trip to KL if nothing goes wrong. There after shall prepare to shift into hall to stay with my rommie angela liao! Haha. Prior to that means shopping and more shopping and that means money and more money needed! haha. It is ok, money is earned to be spent. More money to be spent for my upcoming birthday celebration if i decide to have one. Till now i am still indecided. Haiz. See how ba.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

stupid ailin

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Lee Hom Heroes of Earth World Tour 2006

Fantastic, marvellous, bravo and high can be considered understatement after my trip to the National Indoor stadium last night. Wang Lee Hong is simply talented to be missed. Enjoyed the concert from the start to the very end. Really feel that the money was well spent and fully utillised. Happy. It is really one of the real happy moments i have had this month. Haiz. Things will get better. My blog will come alive again soon. Just like i am going to be normal once again. Haa.. sounds like i have sth wrong sia.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

I am in one of my depression moods again. Feeling so down now. Feelings of insecurity filled me and talking to Angela on the phone set me off again. Maybe I am too emotional, but whatever my dear friends say make sense.. I should talk soon. Cant remain silent for too long. Good luck!