Saturday, December 31, 2005

Sparks 4.2005.12.30

Over. In a twinkle of an eye, the first half ended. Haa.. like i have said, it was very dream-like. I felt a little of that during rehearsal, but it became true in the concert. Guess it must be the platform and the spot light that made everything so so dream-like. Though dreams are beautiful, they are often unclear and blur. That was not really good as this made me blur of what i was playing and confused over what should come out from me. Haa.. Nonetheless, i have enjoyed the concert.. I really do not want this day to end. Seriously.

The day was long.. went to plaza early in the morning to buy some goodies and souvenirs, met sinpei and then we went off to meet my twin outside dunearn sec. Yawns.. that seems like yesterday. haa..

Reached Yuhua on time, started wrapping the souvenir before going around doing and not doing stuff that i should do. Anyway, all was smooth as the buses and lorries arrived and we loaded up and set off for vch.

Running up, going down, running in , running out was what happened to me after that. It lasted for quite some time and finally rehearsal was here! Ms Chan ran through the important parts, we tuned, tried, adjusted and then, my stomach growled. haa.. added into the symphony of noise we were making and i was offered pork from my left. haaa.. okie, not funny, but ya, before long, my seemingly long-awaited dinner was there for me to indulge in!! Yum yum.. Dinner was great! Partly cos i was really hungry, partly cos it was really nice! haha.. thought of it makes me hungry again! muahaha..Apologies to all for the limited water supply as this year we are really on tight budget.. Soon..the real thing was there for us to go..

The crowd was late.. many were streaming in here and there.. But i was glad that at least they were coming in.. hehe.. Before i realised it, the first half was over.. All i rmb was Jason's solo! so so so beautiful! =) Really mesmerising.. wooooo~~~

Interval was hectic.. Hot and frenzy.. haha.. Received this call from a special guest who really managed to surprise me totally! haa.. thanks cheecheemon..for such a pleasant surprise! Really so happy to see you! Though i was a little disappointed initially when u said u cant make it, the fact that u turned up in the end and was even prepared with a flower really really made my day! =) *hugz* Met frankie after that.. haa.. thanks for the choco and the present too!(to fang and kim too!) haha, thanks for coming! hope u guys have enjoyed the concert! hee.. the eggs so cute.. dun feel like eating them! hhaa.. wing, as usual, was a little lagged.. haha.. but the time she was to come in with the rest, the first bell sounded..

Second half came and go as swift as a gust of wind.. haaa.. Love all those pop and light pieces. They definitely helped in bringing the concert to greater heights~Luckily my Sky High remained high after Disco Party III.. I was so worried that my lousy lips will die and bring down the sky.. phew~~ heehee.. Let's Swing was dreamy.. haha.. but it was fun, as in, i was totally into it that i didnt really know what went on.. oopz.. was that good? haha.. nvm...

The concert came to an end.. but my excitment and mood just kept rising.. i was even more overwhelmed when i went out to meet wing, alexis and fabian! Cos, other than the 3 of them, i saw Daniel! wahahah.. another pleasant surprise that made me so happy.. hhaha.. A Really big thank you for coming yea? *hug hug* see you guys tmr!

Other than all mentioned above, of cos i was glad to see beng,shu hui and wenwei.. ade, where art thou! i missed you! thanks for the lao po bing and pineapple cookies! nice nice! haa.. Didnt manage to see jinzhan too.. A note to ah lai, thanks for the effort to make the flowers ah..stylo but they didnt last long..nonetheless, it is the thought that counts! =) Dear kailin, thanks for the flower and letter ya? muacks~

Too much more to be said.. With all these excitement and happiness.. there was more to be expected from me was all that i can say. I know i was not up to expectation, but ya, dun expect too much from me is all i can say?Sound really loser but ya, it is that much that i have tried and gave. Maybe more could have been done, but nvm, all's over.

Love Sparks 4, love section, love all who has supported and helped me all this while. *big hug* nitey.. it is 4.12am now. Time to ZZzzzzzzzzz.. tmr still have to wake up for tution! woshhh~~ hahha. nitez!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Dedicated to you-know-who

hEY.. dunno if you will come to read my blog this time round, but i am dedicating this entry to u for sharing that jing bao news with me on the eve of christmas eve! haa.. hope you know who you are cos you said u dun want your name to be mentioned this time round. I m not going to say that u r shuai or cool or anything to lie to you.. but ya.. i am happy for you! hahaa.. and i am hope i was of some help though i dun think i really helped much. Anyway.. congrats! hahaha.. happy for you! haaaa.. leave me a tag if you read this k, you-know-who.. hahah.. I somehow feel that i shd have left much earlier, cos things did not seem to turn out the way it should be.. but i seriously apologise for any unhappiness resulted due to me k? hope to see you soon and have a Merry christmas!
P.s. dun ask me who is you-know-who, cos no one else is supposed to know other than the 2 of us.. haahaha.. sorry but ya.. nothing too juicy to share too.

For all my dear friends.
Merry Christmas to all out there.. a really quiet christmas for me this year.. but i am glad to have my friends with me all this while. yeah! Silence is bliss too. May all of them have a pleasant new year and a smooth 2006 with their wishes granted. For those attached, may u guys have everlasting and sweet love ahead.. for those singles, dun worry, love will start knocking on ur door in the coming 2006.. hahaa..All the best!

Friday, December 23, 2005

...... ...

Why cant i be more firm and assertive? Guess i need to be , if not, my point will not get across. Argh. Though the holidays are ending soon, I am not really that sad as i am pretty optimistic about the new year. Cannot really explain why, but ya, simply happy. haha..

Met Cheecheemon and gang yesterday. Though a pretty short meeting, it was a nice one as it had been a long time since we gather. Seeing them, i can't help but miss my piglet cos she is our kai xin guo in the group--"piglet, i miss you!"

My 1000 pieces jigsaw is on its way to completion.. haahaa. hopefully i can get it done before the new school term.. cos if not, i will have no space on my table! muahahaa..

Sparks 4 is coming... pretty excited and i am happy that tickets sales are moving! haha.. yeah! hopefully all will turn out well and we will not give ms chan too big a heart attack. hee. To all those who are reading this, if you have not bought the tickets, msg me k? hahaa.. i will reserve tickets for u! Hope to see those who can make it.. =)

Thursday, December 22, 2005

hOLs are ending..

Went to Sentosa on Mon with my section. This is a different section from the one i usually hangs out with. This section is made up of my little juniors and i m the oldest in the crowd! How great a consolation that is for someone turning 20! Gosh.. hanging around with them just made me feels so old.. gosh.. cant stand it. Luckily i had Vicky, who managed to make me feel more at ease.. whahhaa.. No matter where we go, be it the bus stop, walking home, playing by the beach, Vicky and i will be following behind them.. and for the things they do(other than playing beach volley), we will watch them and kind of look out for them-- so much so i feel like a nanny! alamak.. Really cant hang out with them for too long as i will not remain sane. Anyway, i was there for xinran and weiran, who will be leaving Singapore to further studies in Canada at the end of thi month.. thinking that it is the first time they are inviting us for a section outing, i bangsei my classmate and went out with a bunch of kids. woah. One thing to note was that xinran and weiran have also outgrown the kiddy stage and i was glad to be able to catch up with them =) Hope that they will have an enriching time there... Bon voyage, twins!

Mum is finally back from malaysia.. missed her..hahah.. though she was only back for a few days to look after garandma, things were kind of different.. i was so tired out.. haha.. not that i did a lot of housework, but the fact that i need to do the washing and basic maintenance of daily household chores over and above my out-of-house committments is a little hectic. Can totally understand and really admire the formidability of how my mum manage her work and household at the same time.. zai! ahha..was really relieved to hear that grandma is eating and sleeping well nowadays as happiness is the cure to all illness.. as long as she is happy, life will pass by faster and easier~ cant wait to see her back on her feet again =)

haha.. received a long distance call from our beloved and 'wanted' Mr ang.. hahaa.. So responsible and nice of him to actually call just to check and see if everything is going on fine at the tuition center.. No wonder the kids like him so much.. i was so happy to hear from him that for a moment, i thought he was back in Singapore. haha..So envious that it is actually snowing over there and he had conquered mount cook already! Gosh! so zai.. haa..see ya back soon! semester..
Finally out.. at least the results are much better than what i have expected.. think it always help to be prepared for the worst as the happiness resulted from better outcome is hence greater. wahaha.. Hopefully next sem will be better especially since the modules are supposedly more manageable. Keeping my fingers cross.. MOre are coming in for the next sem, and i guess it is time to get my priorities right once again. i have already decided certain stuff and actions that are going to affect some people.. i m sorry but i sincerely hope to get those involved to respect my choice and decision. Taking up new challenges and letting go of some is a must..

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
This is one of the rare years that i do not have the mood and feel for christmas.. that kind of means i feel tired mentally, i m getting old too..that sounds really bad but fairly true. I have not taken the initiative to organise any christmas gathering but luckily, my pals have all been so nice and spontaneous to organise gatherings that i can attend with no fear of regret over the new year.. haa.. Cant wait to meet up with u guys! A merry christmas and a happy new year to all~

Friday, December 16, 2005


Kinda lost and don't know how to move on. Interpersonal relationships can be puzzling and hard to handle sometimes. I will not say that i have super good EQ.. but i can say, somebody just don't have it. Really don't know what i can do anymore. I am not feeling helpless, just that things are just not happening the way it should be. I can't bring myself to say that i am not going to bother anymore, but still, there is this lingering thought for me to say goodbye. alamak. I think we need to talk. Nvm

He is coming back again. Can't stand it. I don't want to be unfriendly, and at the same time i am trying hard not to give any wrong impression. All i can say is that every line that i typed or said, was typed with a tinge of disgust, especially when he becomes too friendly. Gosh, aren't i hypocritical? Cant stand it. But just dun want him to think that i am avoiding. But oh please, don't you find it weird to act shou again after so long? Gosh. wake up! Yea, please continue to think that i am busy. Argh.

Can things be spaced out evenly?Please dun let all good/bad things come together.. as i am not too sure how much can this seemingly strong me take. ha. tired.. shall sleep now.

Friday, December 09, 2005


mOUnt oPhIR
Disapointment. What a word to start commenting on a trip right? I went on the trip with great anticipation, hoping to reach the summit and enjoy the scenery from the mountain top. But, due to the large group size the time we took to scale the mountain is dragged and prolonged. At that rate of scaling, we were unable to reach the summit at the targetted time and get down before dusk. In the end, we ended up scaling only half the mountain,descending earlier than expected. Sigh.. the whole purpose of the trip was defeated. Who to blame??? Mainly the planning com, partly the physical strength of the members. Not everyone will have the same physical strength, that is something to be anticipated by the trip i/c, as such, group size should be kept small so that it is easier and more safe to travel as well. Smaller group is definitely easier to handle and the higher the chance of conquering the mountain. But, from the maximum pax of 18 people, it was increased to 27, almost up by 10 people. Technically speaking, this group is too big. Frankly speaking, if this big group consist of fun and interactive people, things would not have been that bad. But, it is just our luck to get a clique-ish lot who does not seem too wiling to mingle around other than be with their own group of friends. The leader also made no attempt to break the ice, niether did he ask for a buddy system to ensure the safety of his participants. Call himself a leader, call himself an i/c. Lousy is what i have to say to him. Though i have no experience leading a group of people on an overseas trip, some of the bear minimum that should have been done was just not quite there. Will u leave an injured participant alone to the care of a guide to bring her downhill and leave her all alone there while the rest of the members scale the mountain? Not to say that i do not trust the guide, but, who knows what will happen to her? Even after she is brought safely to our base camp, she is there to be alone in the wild for the rest of the 6 to 7 hours. Moreover, it is her first attempt on such a trip.
Anyway, the trip was not such a gone case when these unhappiness graudually pushed the non-clique-ish people together. And due to this, we made new friends and had a lot of fun on our own. I turned out to be the "rebellious" lot in the trip, but it is simply no point sticking to a half-hearted i/c leaving most of the task of leading to his counterpart while he enjoys his small honeymoon and unfair share of authority. bleahhhhh..Got to know a bunch of nice and really cute people..they include Libin,Pangren,Richard,bert and yenleng..Frank and jovial is what i like about them. At the end of the 2nd day, the 5 of them, together with me and fang, ended up booking a resort room, had our heavenly toilet and bed, leaving the wild and the natural to the group of anti-socials.. To be fair to all, not all of them are that anti-social, but all i can say is that they do influence one another and in general, they just send a negative signal to stop me from being friendly. Grrr..
Nonetheless, the last one and a half days were fun because of the new friends fang and i had made. We sang, ate and crapped our way..Under the guidance of bert, we left the group at larkin terminal and headed for our own seafood feast! muhahaha.. yum yum.. it is so nice.. the stingray, the sambal sotong, the he bo..whahaha..
Reached home at 1142 there about finally. Not to think about the disappointments, i have enjoyed holiday! Though a twist from what i have initially expected.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Nothing can describe the aching pain

She is not getting any better. Now is almost close to being bed-ridden. She has also shrank so much since the last time i saw her. The once healthy looking and beautiful granny looks so different. She greeted me saying,"ailin, wai po is no longer the wai po u knew le" Looking at her made my eyes watery, i did not even want to stay in the room with her though i know i should keep her company. Her health is still in good condition.. just that after 2 falls, her legs have weakened and i guess she has got a fear to walk on her own again. She is 84 already, cannot blame her for that actually. I can really feel that she is lonely- how can she not be when she is to stay in the room alone most of the time? My cousins and relatives cant be by her bedside 24-7 a day as they have got their lives to live also. I have also witnessed the care and concern showered to her over these months. However, there are bound to be problems staying together under one roof, no matter how close they are to each other. Being more like a visitor on my part, i can somehow feel the frustrations, irrtation, weariness from one side as well as the loneliness, the cry for attention and need for companion from the other. What can this long distance-Singaporean grand-daughter do?? Talk to her and try to make her happier with the short time i have with her. And yet, i didnt stay with her for long, cos looking at her, i just cant bring myself to smile, not to say try to cheer her up- no matter how much i want to. Can sense that she is trying to keep us by her side. Can also sense her boredom lying on the bed most of the time. I have tried to coax her to let me piggy-back her to move around the house, to bring her downstairs to the living room, to get her out of that room but she just cant overcome her fear. i feel so helpless.. She definitely needs attention and patience to bring her back on her feet, but who can do it? I can sense my relatives losing their patience.. it really really takes a lot of effort to look after an elderly. One day experience on my mum's part has proven so already. The thing that ached my heart most is when she asked me, "ailin, will i get better?", "ailin, i have such a bad life,i can do nothing but depend on people for everything and lie here all day till my death" She was so pessimistic that i went speechless and felt utterly useless sitting beside her. All i can do was to sit by her and listen to her. Mum is feeling no better.. there are just so many things for her to think and worry. ah! Guess it is really true to say that elderly are just like kids who needs the attention and care. BUt it doesnt really seem like an easy to understand point as kids are usually treated as treasures while elderly are burdens. If the care and attention given to kids can be given to grandparents equally, things will certainly be better. All i can say is no one is at fault, but a better plan is definitely needed to take care of this treasure.
i miss her.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

My holidays

One more month to go before my holidays end..muahahha...
Pretty excited about my ophir trip next week, hope i have the stamina to endure till the summit.. heheh..Lacks exercise but i shall try my best!!
Finally started on the 1000 pieces teddy puzzle that had been resting in my cupboard.
Should say teddies, their fur are mostly brown, but different shades..challenging but i like it.. hahah.. that's the point of fixing a jigsaw, the fun and satisfaction of piecing everything together.. =p
Next up will be to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire..i supposed the crowd has cleared.
Now is to find the time to watch with ah fang. woohooo~~
Will be relieving qw's tuition classes soon..
feeling abit excited and yet abit scare of what is awaiting me..
Cant help but get the feeling that i cant get away from tuition. Ha.
Was considering giving up my own tuitees to find another long term part time job, starting this dec and yet, i am taking up another tuition job, Hai..
i just can't bring myself to give up--both on them and on myself.
New resolution for 2006- "be a better tutor"
This is said easier than done.
They are getting out of hand, and my time is like getting shorter. Grrr..
Patience is definitely needed. Phew..
Noise level going up but grades going down..
Guess they are getting too comfy with me..
New techniques needed.
Shopping trips are to be backed up financially.
I should be more thrifty.
Should try harder.
But the things out there are simply too attractive and distracting.
tsk tsk.
*shake head*
30th Dec.730pm.Victoria Concert Hall.Sparks 4!
Calling all concert goers and my dear frens..
Come and watch this concert by Yuhua and River Valley Combined Alumni band!!
Do show ur support as the alumni are burning their weekends to practise!!
It will be a GOOD show! Definitely..
cos.. i m one of the players..haah..just kidding..i m not that good..
pOP and light pieces will be played.
That means, u wun fall asleep as the pieces will be familiar and pleasant to your ears..
Do not belittle yourself by saying that u cant appreciate music.. this concert will prove you wrong! Guess i'll make a good promoter. Contact me for tix k??
Please give support!!