Too fast? Too slow?

Haha.. I am not too sure what went on for the past one month. Everything seemed like a dream. I was overwhelmed by my work. Worked the hardest ever since i was born 20 years ago. Tried to stay focus on work while allowing myself to be distracted once in a while. Tried to fully maximise my time doing work, catching sleep, meeting frens and seafood platter. That was indeed tough.. but i survived. Now that it is the term break, i shall work hard and play hard at the same time. Things seem abit too smooth that it has become a little stagnant.. Though stagnant, i am not too bothered as long as we are happy. Though i will sometimes worry that things might not be right, i choose to believe the feeling i got and so, shall not let my imagination runs too wild. Think things take two hands to clap and sometimes i can be quite blur and stupid to get hints at the right point of time. Argh. So, bottom line will be let nature takes its course again.. whatever will come shall come and when it does, hope i am good enough to catch it and hold it tight with me. Now i will just give what i want to give and take whatever there is there so that i will have no regrets to speak of in the future. =)

Big fluctuations

School has started for me.. everything around me has been going at such a fast pace that i am literally gasping for air. The emotional swings from one event to the other really tires me.. One that affected me on the down side is the fact that i am no longer a chairman for band. The decision might seem like a bomb that dropped from nowhere suddenly, it is actually something that has been on my mind for as long as i remember. The dilemma and struggle inside is really hard to describe. The lingering thought and passion mingled with the practicalities of life and committments. Hard decision. I will miss band and CPS. I will miss the NBA and the ever so cute committee.. argh.I will miss the days of a bass tboner.. haiz. Shall stop here.

At the other extreme, i think i am lucky and blessed to seem to have a dream coming true... really thankful though don't know to who. Haa.

How i spent the last week of my school holidays..

Haha.. this heading sounds like a primary school kid's composition title huh? Yeah.. childlike after spending quite a large part of my time with kids..Got to recap all these so that i might help to make me feel a little better having to start school on tues.. though a day later than most peeps.. i am still on holiday mood.

Monday: (Strength: isleen,angela,ian,ee seng,namkhai,me,valmond,daniel,ashley,bingyao,khung xing and daphne) After some rest on sun after union camp 06, i met up with og hoping to salvage the memory card that stored a great deal of our nice pictures and videos.. However.. instead of doing what we wanted, the size of the og expanded(by those who left hall camp as they found it too bored) and we went around eating nice food..Headed for a sumptuous crab dinner at joo chiat followed by nice ???? at geylang. After which, we walked round the area to explore the even numbered alleys.. Though i felt excited at first, i felt quite bad after that for being insensitive. Though interesting it might seemed at first thought, it was kind of rude for us to go around like kids on excursion..Shall never do that again... Nonetheless.. had fun with og..after the walk around.. we continued our feast of ??? and ????.. though i could not take in more..the little bit i tried was enough to keep me tempted to go back for more.. yum yum..

Tuesday:(Strength: isleen,angela,ian,ee seng,me,valmond,ashley,bingyao and Shirley) Think the orientation fever was still hot in us that we decided to meet up for mahjong at ee seng's house once again.. It was when i catch my Pirates of the Carribean finally. I know it is abit lag but ya.. Nice show! I want to catch the second one before i missed it like Cars the last time. Hanged around watching Increadible Tales 3 after that..not as freaked out as the last time we watched at Angela's house.. guess the big group eased all tensions and fear after awhile. Short and simply outing.. like this kind of short gatherings.. it will be better with more freshies around..

Wednesday: Rested at home and accompanied dad before i went to do some relief teaching at serangoon. A short day with nothing much but enough for some adreneline rushes here and there throughout the day.

Thursday: Spent the morning at home with dad before he got on his feet and abandoned me. haha.. Glad that he was able to recover and left me alone at home while he went out to settle some stuff. First time that i felt glad being 'abandoned'

Friday: Met Valmond and Ee Seng for breakfast early in the morning. Abit siao on to like just wake up earlier and meet each other for breakfast ant Wa Jiao. Felt abit bad as i was the one who needed to meet early so that i can be on time for my next date later in the day. Nice people i have known =) Whooohooo! Went to JB with huifang and kim to satisfy out shopping craze after my nice breakfast! Spent over RM270 and i was home grinning. haha.. If i had no budget to talk about, my room will not be like what it is now. Shopperholic to the max. I brought the most money but was left with the least. Not even enough to let us have dinner at JB before we headed for home. Madness.

Saturday: Ubin outing with my beloved oac pals.. Such a long planned outing that we finally managed to get most of the gals down to sweat and cycle. Fun.. just that i am further blackened from where i was after the orientation camp. Need another half a year to get fair again. Boo.. The weather was good and we were adventurous. Went into the unexplored regions, scaled the top of the hill to see the overview of the beautiful quarry and cycled deep into the out of bounce OBS land. Haa.. I was nearly thrown off bike by a big monitor lizard that was frightened by me as well. Terrible scare but luckily i was firm to grip my bike and cycled on. If not, cheemin would have fallen because of me. Gosh.

Sunday: Tuition and shopping filled this last day of holiday for me. Started teaching pre primary one kids at the center today. Nixon and christina! whaha.. both of them made my day.. THEY ARE SO CUTE! Love teaching them.. time flies with them around. Just hope that they do learn and i can teach effectively. Met up with zhu tou in town today. Missed her and was glad that we spent time sitting down to catch up. Not really in the mood to shop.. sorry.. think i bored her a little towards the end. Too tired le.. then my heels were giving me problem as well..Shall meet up again!

Tomorrow.. supreme court outing with business law specialisation peeps.. I knew none of them.. actualli thinking if i should absent myself.. but i cant afford to be anti-social in this fac.. so.. yeah.. be friendly.. be myself!

Nurse for a day

Dad is sick. Really the first time seeing him so sick after living on this earth for 20 and a half years. Dun really like this feeling of helplessness. All i can do is to prepare food and medicine for him. The medicine didnt really seem to take any effect.

Please please.. let my Mr Strong recover really soon.

UOC 2006 23rd-29thjuly

Slept all the way from 530pm on 29th to 30th morning 830am. Could have slept all the way till noon if not for the fact that dad thought that i have tuition at serangoon in the morning. Boo. I have changed the timing for that class but forgot to tell mum..haha.. never mind.. guess i have slept enough as well.. as compared to the two to four hours each day during camp.

I am now Afro Senior, Aura junior. We are now the A group! =)
Time was super slow when we were in ntu for the first two days.. maybe due to the fact that we seniors have been running around the place so often that our legs were so tired out by the second day of the camp. At that point of time, i hoped that the camp will end soon. But as the days went by, we got out of ntu, went to sentosa followed by aloha at loyang.. time never seem to be enough. OG bonded fast, had fun and really went crazy at the chalet. So many things that we did that i am now too lazy to typed all of them out again. Glad that everything went on pretty smoothly for our group.. Though we had fun and stuff, i will not say that the camp on the whole was a good one. In fact, i feel that the camp last year was alot better. Maybe as a senior this year, i see alot more cork-ups and problems, but i am sorry to say that the main com did not do a really good job cos if they did, there would not be so many things that we,the A group seniors have in the list to feed back about. Haiz.. nvm.. shall credit them for whatever effort they bothered to put in.

Through this camp, the A group bond seems stronger and better be it between the afros or the aura bananas..as well as between the aura bananas and afro juniors...the super seniors were supportive and great in coming back to help despite exams and final year projects.. muacks muacks.. may the A group spirit be everlasting~

I have lost my voice again.. a standard outcome whenever i go for camp =p

School reopening next week.. excited and yet Boo boo.. haven play enough~

Trombone Chalet 2006@Cranwell Bungalow 2

Being there brought back memories of last year's orientation. Though it was a different chalet, the stretch of Changi Road just seemed so familiar and quiet.

The three-day-two-night chalet flew past in a twinkle of an eye. One of the most comfortable chalet so far as all of us have got beds to rest and sleep well.. Haa.. Though the creepy feeling haunt us a little bit here and there..everything was still fine except the fact that i used some shampoo that belongs to nobody i know. Yucks. . Shall try to forget that. Adventurous and sporty cyclist? haa. i see myself as more of a tom boy who gets crazy and is not too scare or careful to avoid injuries. Poor Xinru, must have scare her a fair bit by sharing the double bike with me.. haha.. Nonetheless, the trip was fun! heh.

Guess time with section is never enough. After checking out from chalet, we were still on for kbox at tampines but was saddened by the fact that it has shifted to marine parade! Alamak. Then, we decided to go to holland village's settler's cafe only to find out at their door step that they are opened daily from 2pm! Grrr.. Left with not much of a choice, we went to BK for lunch before deciding another round of card games at my house! hahah.. That's what i love abot section, ever so spontaneous and on to do stuff as long as time allows all of us to*muacks*

TOLL.. Something that helps me get to know my juniors better! Now that ade is almost squeezed dry.. my next target is shuhui,beng and vicky.. muahaha.. they had being too quiet! Let them off too easily everytime we have TOLL.. No more! hehh.. waiting for thw 20th for all of us to meet up again~

A rather meaningful mail to share :

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.

She was tired of fighting and struggling.

It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water

and placed each on a high fire.

Soon the pots came to boil.

In the first she placed carrots,

in the second she placed eggs,

and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners.

She took out the carrots,eggs and coffee and placed them each in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked,

"Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.

She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.

The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity --boiling water.

Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting.

However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile.

Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior,

but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however.

After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong,

but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart,

but changes with the heat?

Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup,

a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?

Does my shell look the same,

but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean?

The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.

When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst,

you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest,

do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,

enough trials to make you strong,

enough sorrow to keep you human

and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;

they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past;

you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

That's life isn't it? =)

Specialised in Marketing and Business Law

These shall be what is going to be reflected on my graduation certificate in two years time. I seriously hope that i can cope well and if possible, continue with the electives i have always wanted to do. Though those are really extra under the circumstances now, i believe i can do it and i shall try. So, that means that the coming two years in NBS is going to be a fruitful and rather packed school life for me. Work hard for the sake of the unknown future! haa, sounds ironic yea?

I kind of dislike holidays especially after last week. Not that i dont like a break, but just that this break gives me more time to imagine. And my imagination can run really wild and crazy. Dont like whatever I am guessing and trying to find out. This kind of guessing and pondering is driving me crazy. I rather everything comes to an end really soon. Maybe I have brought this upon myself. The word 'if' is a killer word. It gives people hope, anticipation and desires. But if, things are what they are expected to be, i should be happy. Sorry, I am talking to myself.

Section chalet is coming~ hehe.. looking forward to the ubin trip.. =)

SiCK

Boo. Think the weather is too hot and the lack of sleep for the past few nights gave rise to the sickness bug attacking me. It was terrible last night-Practically whined through the night with my whole body aching and head spinning. Glad that i am feeling better now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEN!
So sorry to cancel our date ya? Have a nice day~

Over the moon

Though i did something misleading and stupid today, i am glad that everything ended well. Phew.. Nearly died of heart attack! This is when frens play an important role =) So glad that yijing was there to offer a second opinion and help me calm down a little. Gosh, i can be really stupid sometimes. Haha, this is all I am going to reveal about my stupidity~

Had an imprompto sleepover at yijing's place yesterday. Haa.. This is the problem with girls.. Once we start talking, time seem to be never enough. Heh. Guessed we were both a little high yesterday-- did whatever we thought of and wanted to the moment we talked about it. I dyed her hair late at night yesterday. Crazy because there was no prelude, crazy because we just walked to the nearest 7 Eleven and grabbed the best colour dye that both of us agreed on. Crazy again because she wanted me to just highlight her hair but i stubbornly continued to dye the whole hair for her. She then requested for stricks of highlighted hair and bold enough, i toyed with whatever foil she had and ya.. dyed her hair~ haha.. As if all these stuff are not sufficiently out-of-norm, the supposedly ash-beige hairdye turns out to be golden brown when she came out of the bathroom. Haha.. I was speechless. Frankly speaking, the colour turned out to be something i like and prefer, but, the owner of the hair colour seems to not like it as much.. alamak.. "Hope U will get used to it soon, yj" =)

Met up with Weimin today! My dearest piglet~ haha.. She is still the same, so cute, so huggable, so innocent, so nice to talk and shop with! *Hugz* Distance indeed makes our hearts grow a little fonder.. Haha. We kind of combed the whole bugis in a short 4hours, leaving no sales unturned. Haha.. I really love GSS~ heh.. Got 2 of the tops i have eyed and wanted at only $21.60 when they used to cost $33 and $39.. Muahaha.. Really glad that i didnt succumb to those temptations and waited till today! Guess i didnt manage to contain my excitement of the good bargain that even the salesgirl looked a little shocked by my grin and wide smile. Haha. Wanted to have an ubin outing with everyone so that we can all get to meet up, but guess bigger group outings are always harder to settle.. especially when all the girls in question are reaLLY BusY people! Haa.. I will not give up. I am sure we will meet up soon~ heh.

Wore my Papillio already. They are gorgeous~ hahah.. actually maybe not really that beautiful but, i just like them. Yeah!

Expectations

With expectations, there are bound to be disappointments when these expectations failed to surface. Though i have asked myself to stay 'normal' and lower my anticipation and expectation, i cant help it but hope for more. Guess humans are all greedy and i am no exception. Things seem fine and perhaps a little stagnant, but it is better than nothing. Shall i take more initiative? I really wonder how. Toot.

Another disappointment

Seniors camp was something that i looked forward to- 2 days of fun and laughter. Even took leave and break from tuition and cafe to go. For the first day, Aura is one of the groups with more people. That is definitely worth commenting but for the second day, the almost full strength dropped to zero.. that's why i am now free at home to blog. Am I too enthu or are they the ones who are not? When we are together as a group, things seem fine and fun.. Reason reason? Haiz.. Really feel that we should meet up more in order for the camp to be a really successful one. Shall make use of this time to really take a break.

Bitchings

Had been bitching so much about my new manager that i don't mind bitching more about him though it takes up space in my blog. Being the operation manager, he does not even make the effort to mingle with his crew.. Does he expect us to suck up to him and try hard to smile and make conversation with him? Nah, that is something i will definitely not do. I thought he was just putting on his airs on his first few days, but guess what, when the crew consists of fellow au***** like himself, he was SO friendly and treated the rest of us as transparent. Yeah, it was obvious from that moment onwards that he don't like c******.. Or maybe because we were employed by the previous manager. Gosh. Last Sunday was the day that pushed me to the limit and the thought of working there under him simply makes my head spins and hurts. We were on the papers and hence business was super duper good. I was on the afternoon shift... customers kept coming and before we know it, the pies were sold up before dinner time at 7. I have nothing much to complain about the good business because with that business, i was occupied and time flew past really quickly. But, his presence made my day super tiring and frustrated. When we need the space at the counter to serve the customers, he was there chatting and making his so called 'friendly' conversation with his fellow 'mates'. I have nothing against that, but we just have to look at the appropriate time to do it. Just when we were having full house and people were looking out for seats to be cleared and trays to be emptied, we saw coffee cups and saucers meant for staff usuage on the tables, waiting to be cleaned and cleared. What is the point of having disposables lying there waiting to be used? He made a difference to the standard procedure of operations and above that, gave us more unnecessay work to do during such peak period. My hair was practically standing and what can be worse than being the only c****** left in the shop with him and his darlings. I decided to get away from him and walked into the kitchen to fold more paper boxes to handle the next possible batch of customers flocking in. What was he doing when the crowd ceased for a moment? He did not replenish the pies, neither did he help out with the paper trays which needs to be folded. He was there, taking up space at the counter chatting with his darlings. Anger, anger and more anger. I missed Sammy and my brother so much when they just left the shop for less than 45minutes to make a delivery. Argh. The next bad thing he did was his indirect causation of me receiving black faces from customers. I was making hot chocolate for the customer when he came over to ask if i know the 'right' way of warming the milk. Though i said yes, he went ahead to 'teach' me. And being a subordinate, it is only right to use whatever he had prepared to make the 'hot' chocolate. Though i felt that the milk was not hot enough, i used it anyway cos there was seemingly no reason and time to question him. What happened next should be predictable- customers complained and yeah, fingers were pointed at me. Fury! One Sunday afternoon with him nearly drove me to my grave. I was sulky for the next half of the day. As it was not difficult to make me smile usually, the disappearance of that curve on my face was kind of obvious that even Scot noticed it. Though jokingly, his reminder of 'service with a smile' made me guilty of letting some insignificant figure disturbs and irritates me. From then on, i tried to brush that irritation out of my mind.

Felt better after a good night's sleep.

i was on the afternoon shift again on monday. The moment i stepped into the shop, i heard that it was Sammy's off day! That's it. I WILL SEE THAT IRRITATING PERSON for the rest of the day. As usual, he left us alone to tend the counter. Soon, he was on the move. Of course i was elated to have him go, but on the pragmatic side, who was going to do the official closing with us? Closing was never done by part-timers ourselves. We need the manager to be around! He left happily after leaving behind his contact number and asked us to call him if there was any problem. yeah right.. there were lots of problems after that.. but it didnt seem that we need to call him at all. cos, there was nothing he could have done over the phone. First, we ran out of small change as the customers at our shop always seem to have $50 as their most available cash. We rushed off to neighbouring shops to change. Once this was tackled, we ran low of pies before dinner time. When the pies ran low, our $10 notes and coins ran low again. i started giving change of $40 in mixture of fives and twos and change of $1 with 10 ten-cent coins! Gosh. As we had another delivery to make at 7pm, we need to heat up the pies and send them over. and really lucky enough, the oven chose such a time to not function properly. The pies were not heated up and we were running late for the delivery. Can u imagine the whole shop was left with only three part-timers? It was just so coincidental that both of the chefs were out with Sammy for his off day. Yeah, our final resort was to call them and ask what to do when the pies and small notes ran low before the dinner peak at 7pm. As we had the urge to hang up the close sign with all these hiccups we were facing, we told them that all the pies were sold out when we actually had 4 left. Hah.. But lucky enough, we sold all 4 before they got back to the shop and started making all pies. I was never so glad to see Sammy. Haha.. At least i know that with him around, we have good workers' benefit.. not like that irritating figure who restricts our meals and drinks to take at the shop.

Frankly speaking, none of us there really like him and i am sure he has felt it in a way of another. But sad to say, he is making no attempt to improve the situations but in fact, doing more things to irritate more of us. Guess i will be jobless really soon. So much to bear when the pay is not in the first place fantastic.

Going to work again later. I really hope that he is not going to be there. Fat hope though.

Second Specialization?!?!?!?!?!?

A pleasant surprise :)

Decision making again~

First time

First time blogging in school not because i did not want to but most of the time due to the poor network being unable to load blogger properly.

First time leaving examinations hall early before the paper ends.

First time feeling so carefree and heck care about an exam even though i really did not know how to do quite a number of questions.


Second time

This is the second time in about a month that I am declaring holidays for myself. Haa. This time round it is really holidays as I will not be touching my books at all till 07.08.2006. Heh. Special term has ended over a twinkle of an eye. Sparks Goes Pop also ended in seemingly less than a minute. I have also moved on from the major emotional struggle to choose my specialisation that is going to accompany me for the next 2 years. A hard decision no doubt. I also hope that it is a decision that i will not regret and will hold on for however long i need.

Last time
Anything that i am doing for the last time? hmmm.. maybe to slack and not work hard ba. Resolution for the new semester will be to work hard and bring my GPA to greater heights. haa.

Results out

Better than what i expected. Haa. Seems like this is always what i say whenever i get back my results. Though it seems positive, on closer examinations, it is nothung fantastic, simply because i am always prepared for the worst-- seriously the worst-- that's why now i am feeling better with 'better' results. Guess this is a way i learn along the way to cope with imperfections.


Toot

We are both stupid. Really childish. Haha


Sparks Goes Pop.11th Jun 2006.Sunday.3pm.Esplanade Concert Hall.

Finally here. Hope everything that should end will end with these concert. I dont have anything special to bring away with just hope that the performance itself will be a memorable day for me to remember forever. Hereby wishing all success! jia you jia you!

Da Vinci Code

Nice show, but can be confusing if one is not good at recognising faces. Hah. Shall read the book if i cant tell myself to persevere to finish it. Hah
(sorry wen,read your tag only after i watched the show!)

Ultra Broke

$ never drop from the sky. Never am i a money controller. This hols is the worse so far. .Esp under the temptation of GSS...Boo~

Piper's Pies

Though lowly paid, working hours fly as customers have been consistent and the people there are nice so far. Still keeping my eyes wide open to observe and learn.. Just hope that i won't get scalded again. Hopefully the burnt that i got will not leave a scar.. argh...


Who haven watch Da Vinci Code?
i want to watch...

Sotong in dreamland

These few days had been kind of dreamy. Really dreamy. I did not really know what i was doing most of the time. Everything that i did was part of a routine and i just did them as how i was supposed to do them. Sounds really scary but i seriously think i need a break. Ironically, i am having holidays now... What is so tiring is something that puzzles me. I was tired last night,but, i was subconsciously awoke half of the time. Guessed that drained me further. Gosh. If given the chance, i would like to lose my memory for one day and then come back again.

Had a good talk with N that day. Kind of happy after the talk, but things are still not resolved and i seriously think i am the problem. I still cant make up my mind to decide what i want next. A greedy person is an unhappy person.

Mum is back in Malaysia.. and dad is lonely! haha.. no la, just feel that whenever mum is not home, dad will be all alone in his room..especially like yesterday, when all the three of us were out at night, he was all alone at home..at the end of the day, he ended up visiting his sis and chatted with them through the night.. it was kind of a weird feeling for me whenever i see him alone.. so,tried to keep him company by watching tv with him.. mummy come back soon!

Sometimes i am really stupid when it comes to certain things. That is why till now... never mind.. i shall stick to my usual belief--- let nature takes it own course~

3 jobs in 2 weeks

Had been job hopping and trying my luck to find a nice part time job that can accommodate me and my jumbled schedule with inter-sem lessons, band practices and tuition classes..

"Jobs are hard to find"

Such statements are pure excuses that i have used in the past. Hah. After lowering my expectations and putting in the effort to find a job, i managed to come across offers and widen my scope in my view and perspective of the world out there.

I did a CATI job with wen and i supposed i am still in the job as i haven get my pay no matter how meagre. It is a telephone surveyer job in which i got to call households using the phonebook and i am paid on a per survey basis. So far, i have only completed 13 surveys in 2 sessions. The own time own target flexibility allowed me to mia whenever i want. Hah. This hence allowed me to have the ease of going around trying new jobs and offers to see if i can take up.

Through my friend's recomendation, i went to interview for a event's coordinator's job which i went to work for 2 days. Now that i have seen their daily operations, i cleared my doubts and decided to leave. No offence to my friend who recommended me the job, but i think i am not suitable due to its outdoor nature and its long hours of operations that drain me from doing other things. Guess i am most probably not going back to the company.

Went for a cafe job interview and got the job already. Guess i am more suited for indoor working environment. My eye infection is slightly better.. but still got to rest a while more,sigh. The cafe environment was good and due to it being a new business, i forsee good prospects.. hAh.. Hope i am up to the job as when it comes to f&b, i am still a newbie..

Really tired out these few days. Lost track of all the days and dates. Shall take a good break before i start work once again =)

OG outing last week
OG gathered for our 'banana man' 's birthday. Guess he just have the ultimate influence on all of us being our big brother OGL. Every single one of us gave face and turned up to celebrate for him. All those (including myself), who have been mia-ing, turned up and stayed almost throughout the whole meeting. As such, the OG outing had been rather successful just that most of the seniors were busy. But for junior OG, full attendance! =) Though everything seems good and fun, i got myself into trouble with banana man. haha. Just hope that i can survive senior's camp free from his clutches. hah..

Thoughts
What are ethics and how do we define them? I suppose they differ person to person and i have high expectations for myself. Maybe i am idealistic, but whatever that is against my personal principles i simply cant bring myself to do it. I do not know if they are totally wrong, they have their rights and beliefs, but i am sorry, i just cant cross that personal barrier. Nonetheless, they are nice people whom i enjoyed being around with- so cranky and so fun to be with. But still, i choose to leave.. will miss u guys lots~

Contradiction

Wanted to spend my holidays usefully-- so i took up the special term paper

Wanted to work and save more money during this holidays-- Looking for jobs with good pay and flexi-hours.

How to have the best in both worlds? Naive!

Really happy to have met up with xxx today.You made my day! *Muackx* I didnt know why i lied to xxxx and xxx but the words just came out naturally when they asked the same question. Hah.. It is ok, that was a white lie, you guys will know it in a few days time.

Have been feeling down these few days. Maybe this is what i call 'prolonged p-m-s-ing'. I think it has a great deal to do with...never mind.. I know that things are different and hence the feeling is also different. The silent understanding that once existed is now gone. Whatever i did not say in the past, was felt and understood with that pleasant silence. But now, i have got to speak up, and by doing so,it is not doing anyone any good. So, i have decided to shut up. I have decided to give up. I might be looking at things in a rather extreme manner, but at the end of the day, my effort is kind of extra and not needed. So, what is the point of wasting my time and effort? I rather spend my time elsewhere. I have come to the conclusion that I will not give more than what I can take. A really selfish thinking I should say, but true enough, I have been disappointed. Actions always speak louder than words, so, say no more. I observe and I see. I feel and I sense. Whatever that was done, though minor, meant alot to me. Those intangible and little understanding and consideration are things that i have always treasured and appreciated. Now that they are not there, I am sad. All these are driving me away, I am seriously considering leaving. Though there are others whom i love to see and talk to, they are incomparable to those things that are pushing me away. Can I get away with that obligation?

Have you ever feel ever so alone even though you seem to have so so many friends in your phone directory?

No doubt that there are many contacts stored in my phone, when i needed to find someone to really vent out the agitation and irritation those things are causing me, the list shrank so much to almost nothing. I thought that no one would be so free to be there for all those grumbles, no one would be able to understand the dilemma and no one would be able to know how to help me because whatever advice that comes in will most probably be what i have derived myself. Contracdictory? My point is just that, at the end of the day, there is only me and myself to be depended on.

How best are the friends you used to call best friend? Never mind, i shall stop here before i brood and spoil my head further. Shall continue indulging myself in MARs again.