DOWN

Msn down

Hotmail down

wat can be worst? cant receive files to do the piling up work.

Opening a gmail acct soon.

People do take note.. my modes of communication is now reduced to yahoo mail (bass_tboner@yahoo.com.sg) and handphone. Seriously think that i am cursed.

Hair is standing.

Grr.

MIA
i was totally not online for a week! Can anyone imagine that!? Gosh, even i myself dun believe it. Sometimes i really doubted if i belong to this new IT age.. haha. As a result of this, i got tonnes of mails and for some of the supposedly urgent stuff, i read it late. Oopz.. Too late for ammendments. I m sorry.. didnt mean to be irresponsible. Really sorry. i felt like being a hermit for a week and i did.

Him(s) n her
Quite an eventful week for me. Met quite a few people i haven met for some time. Some made my day while some simply spoils it. Of the 4 hims, 3 out of 4 made my day- so, i shall stop grumbling. haha. Not being a sexist here, it just happened that i bumped into guy friends more this week.. Really felt good catching up =) One of them was like my brother's friend la, my 2nd big brother who is my brother's best friend. Haven seen him ever since we shifted to bukit panjang.. saw him in NTU once, but he didnt see me.. and finally, met him again today.. i kept staring at him and he did the same.. seemed kind of dumb, but that was really what we did. Think he must be wondering what was my problem till he finally realised who i was as he exclaimed my name.. haha..so funny. Didnt expect him to remember my name after like 10 years.. so nice =) There is a she who spoilt my friday. What more can i ask to get a teacher better than her? Gosh. Really really haven been mad with a teacher ever since sec4. (-_- ''')

Recess = No recess
Though this semester is supposedly more slack, there are more individual assignments and work.. so, i can foresee how my recess week is going to be spent. How to study? The modules this sem are more theoretical and that means there should be minimal last minute studying. Help!

Valentine's Day
Going to be another highly commercialised day with lotsa expensive stuff to be sold everywhere..dear lovers, it is the thought that counts, save the money for a better dinner on any other day. With genuine feelings and chemistry, any day can be a Valentine's day..Happy Valentine's Day to all~

A different Chu 1

First time in 20 years of my life living on this world that i spent new year in singapore. I have never thought that the feeling can be so weird. There is simply nothing much to do. Visited two of my relatives, one of them being my elder uncle and his family. He is my father's brother. And mind you, he is just like another mould of my dad just that they are of a different shade.. hahah.. By right, being the few Yeos in the family, we should be the closest and the more closely knitted cousins. Ironically, we are not. Instead, we sat in the living room and watched scv programmes. That silence was defeaning. Nothing came out from our mouths. My brother's girlfriend, visiting with us for the first time, was also shocked by the awkward silence. Really sad isn't it? All i can say is that we have never been close. Maybe they carried and played with me when i was a baby, but as a baby, how much can i remember from these two sisters? The first line that greeted me from one of them is, "oh AiLin, you have grown so tall!" ya, right, i have grown taller than both of them. Gone were the days when i raised up my head and stare at them telling myself that they are my dear cousins. Though distant we might feel, it is still a fact that we are the Yeos. I think it will be really sad when in the future(without our parents) we will turn out to be strangers who will never be in contact. I can foresee that coming. Sigh. Guess we are all pretty helpless about this. The age gap is one factor and the serious lack of contact is another. Nonetheless, there might be miracles. haa. One happy thing about this awkward visiting is that my uncle seems really happy. One thing, he dotes on his brother- that is my father. Second, think he loves my elder brother being the eldest Mr Yeo in my generation. Seeing my brother with his girlfriend, i can sense this underlying blissful feeling floating around in the big and silent house. haa..

happy new year too all! Cant wait to lay my hands on the table to...muahahah.

CNY 2006

For the past 20 years of my life on this planet, my new year has always been spent in malaysia. Suddenly, mum says that we are not going back this year. Lost. Being one who always feel that malaysia has got more 'mood' for new year, i am reluctant to stay in Singapore. Just feel sad that i am going to stay home. Argh. However, on the other note, i can start to jio friends for new year gathering.. precisely due to the fact that i am always away, i can only go for gatherings in the second week. Now that i am so free suddenly, i feel lost. All of a suddenly, my "new year mood" is gone. Hopefully visiting to my paternal relatives can make up for this loss.


Individuality

I do appreciate differences, individuality and diversity. These are the things that make life interesting and exciting. Individuals i feel, should have their own style and characteristics. I am not saying that we should try too hard to be different but, at least have your own traits and unique characters. Everyone is special, so why cant you just be yourself? I am getting irritated. I am not trying to say that i am so unique and nice but ya, stop giving me the feeling that you are trying to be like me! Gosh, this kind of feeling is terrible. I have always thought that we are quite close friends and close friends are bound to share similarities. Ironically, i love that kind of similarities and 'chemistry' between friends. However, whatever you have been doing is not chemistry and it kind of turn me off. It starts to make me dread hanging out with you. Please please, i don't know how long i can stand this kind of irrtation if you call it. I am not trying to be an almighty to say that i am super cool or imitatable but ya, i just detest the idea of having someone who seem to dress and talk and feel like me. That is scary, isn't it? Then i might as well call you ailin right? Grrr...maybe i practicing a little exaggeration here but ya, that is what she is doing. I seriously prefer people who have a better sense of self. How nice is that to have what i shared with you broadcasted and twisted to your advantage? Guess you are a little more than who i think you actually are. Time to open my eyes wider.

Alright, i shall stop all my grumblings. It is New Year! Muahaha.. CNY resolution- go around visiting! To as many places as possible! May all get as many ang baos as possible! heehee..
4 days holidays! yeah!!!

Being in Singapore this time round, i shall be proactive and start organising gatherings. So, the following group of people(in no particular order) who read this, please sms me to say when u free if you are also interested in the gathering k? Then i will arrange a slot when most can make it. =)

1. 2d gang-- mahjong?? muahah..
2. Section-- go k song at chevrons like last year? or a simple gathering? 5th/12th
3. Jc pals, meet on chu san(31st jan) for mahjong?muhaha..
4. Xiao Xue gang-- lao gui ju, visiting ard bukit panjang? 5th/12th feb?

Sms me k?? and help me ask around..cos i am sure not all will read this in time or even at all.. haa..try to not tag as a response.. cos i might not read it myself.. hahah.looks like new year is nothing much but spending or trying to earn money. hahah.. good luck and fortune to all!

Pretty hopeful about what is going to go on in alumni. There seem to be many things to look into on agm on the 11th. Hopefully things will turn out well and smooth..Hopefully all can come promptly and contribute wherever possible k?

Have a happy, joyous and funfilled new year to all!

~~tata!~~

Ang3 gong4 gong3
Guess my hair is something matching the New year this year. Maybe a little too jing bao for many but yeah, i am still pretty please with it. Though the colours i have chosen did not really appear, the resulting combi is not one that can be easily obtained. haa. I have chosen brown as my base colour, red as my highlight, but at the end of the few hours, i see more than two colours appearing on my hair. There is red, there is also a slight variation of red- pink, gold-which i dunno where it comes from, and of course the brown which turned out to be lighter than what i initially wanted. So, people can let your imagination runs a little wild to imagine me in my new hair colour now. =)

Cultural Night 2006
A reunion night for the chance to meet old friends who have not been in touch for so long. I am also glad to see some of the teachers who hasn't seem to change much ever since my graduation. And of course, not everyone has remained the same, some of the teachers who were Misses, have all turned to Mrs and one is even pregnant with a baby! wohaha..

The performance was alright, though not fantastically impressive, it was kind of touching to see the juniors performing and showcasing the various cultural performances all together. i believe, there are few other schools which have such an ability to have all cultural groups reaching and maintaining a certain level of excellence in their field of practice. Kinda proud to see that kind of ability in my school. =)

Tourism and hospitality specialisation
Waha, suddenly, i feel an urge and a constant motivation to study simply because if this new specialisation that will be implemented at the end of this semester to my Nanyang Business School! hhahah.. it seems like a dream come true for me as this course has never been in history, be implemented in Singapore! The 5 existing specialisations though interesting and useful, did not appeal much to me because i do not really have any special interest in any one of them. One reason for me to get into NBS is partly due to the hospitality course available in one of our exchange universities overseas. Now that it is available right here in Singapore, it just makes me feel so lucky to be at the right place. Haa.. No matter how much i have previously said to dislike school and uni life, i am now positively different. Guess it is the goal established that marks the difference in my attitude.Praying hard to really get in there.

Chinese New Year
Yay! 4 days hols for the coming weekend.. so happy=) i want to go new year visiting!! haah.. but before that, i have got to shop for more bottoms. Gosh, new year is one week away and i feel so unprepared.

Turning 20..


The process of turning 20 was a really happy one. All thanks to my dear frens and my family.. those who rmb and those who even took the trouble to celebrate for me. I seriously felt like a little princess for the past few days.. all the way from 6th jan till 10th.. u guys really accompanied me through my birthday. *hugz* Everyday feels like a birthday even till now.. Thank you so much! Happiness and more happiness is all i have to say about this year's birthday.. really thanks alot all of you who have made my it a memorable one. For my 2d palz, no worries about not being able to meet up that day k,cos it is partly my fault to postpone the whole thing.. love you guys as well! haa.. My family has been sweeter this year too.. haa.. in the past, it will be a simple dinner at home with nice dishes cooked by ma.. but this year, we went fiesta! haha.. then everyone from my dad to my younger brother treated my extremely well.. dunno why, but they managed to make my day special and different from usual.. touched and nearly melted from head to bottom.. nearly cried again.. but luckily they didnt see the watery eyes..if not i am sure my tap will be turned on again.. Suddenly, i hope this little dream will never end. Dun feel like going back to face my tutorials that are stacking up..Boooo.

In short, turning 20 isn't as bad as what i thought. A really really BIG HUG and thanks to all my frens ranging from primary sch ones to sec,jc,uni and frens from alumni band..Thanks for all sweet msges,nice and expensive presents and cakes, sumptuous dinner and lunch.. Thanks for all the thought and effort put in k??? muacks. nOT trying to make a big thing out of my birthday, but just a sincere and thankful entry to thank all who made my birthday a memorable one.


All i know now is---to remain young, i have got to stay young at heart! haha..

I am getting closer to adulthood.

Hey you-know-who..

you never fail to surprise me with so sudden and realli jing bao news. They either surprised or really shocked me to the limit. Don't worry and be happy k? Got anything to shout, to share, to cry or to laugh, feel free to look for me yea? msg,page or call.. yea, take care and remember, there is always sunshine after the rain, no matter how mild that is! =)

hey, if u like someone got to let that person knows right? No point pondering,fussing and thinking so much alone. You have got to know how the other party thinks too. The worst u get out of a confession is rejection, when there is no confession, playing mental games can be more torturous than anything else. Be bold, for once. If there is pain or anything, it will heal with time. But if the outcome is positive, it will be so much happier and blissful. Words are often easier said than done, who doesnt know this? There are always so many things to hesitate, to worry and imagine, these nagging thoughts can be never ending. So, why bother? Follow your heart and face all that comes out from that decision. Good luck.

HapPY BirThdYAY, AH fanG!

Now that it has just past midnight once again. I seriously dun know what is wrong with me, but i am sleeping less and less each day. After a havoc partying on 31st, i slept for 2hours and stayed awake almost the whole day till now.. it is 2nd of jan now. wah! really crazy me. Now that it is 2006, i shall have my resolutions written out in details after a brief one in the previous entry.

Guess i will once again optimise the usage of my time to the fullest once again. But for this year, more time shall be allocated for me to rest and more private moments for myself. Haa..sounds quite wrong, but all i mean is to get more rest and have more free time to do anything i feel like at that moment in time. Shall try to moved away from too much heavily packed activities, More self restraint! haa

Results will be an area of concern to work on. Though my grades are alright now, i shall not stay complacent as i believe i can do better. Though with that thought in mind, i will try not to stress myself with that cos i am one who perform better under less-stressed life. Shall just give my best.

More time shall be given to my family, play a more active part at home rather than being one who seems to be taking more than what i am actually giving.

Be a better tutor. Haa.. shall be my next resolution. Other than to achieve my strive to top up my bank account regularly, i shall really make sure that i will continue to try to improve their grades no matter how naughty and lazy they are. These are the reason why they need me and i shall do my part as nothing can give more satisfaction than seeing them really learn and get their grades improving.

As for alumni band, i hope that merger will be smooth and the band can tide through this period as it is a pretty crucial thing for the combined alumni. Once the merger is settled, there are bound to be changes and we will need time for the whole band to settle down and move on from there for the future as one band. Hope things will be smooth-sailing..

For this last little resolution, i shall be frank to say that, i hope to get a bf, who can be there to listen to me, be there to share all joy and laughter with me. Though i always say that i have no time for another person in my current life, there are still times when i wonder how different and good things might be to have a companion around. Think the one i need cant be a sticky type, he has got to know that we have got our own social circles and life too. Best if we have the same interest and liking, so can do stuff we like together..haa..sounds like a sweet dream..hee.. Still, i can only let nature takes it own course and can only say that, good things are worth waiting for. haa.

Let's see what's up for me in the coming year. haa..

2006

How can i not blog on this nice and first new day of this going-to-be-great 2006? After a series of havoc and partying, 2006 creeped in quietly, sending 2005 to be another chapter in the archieves. Looking back, i seriously think that 2005 flew past me. Seriously,it did flew. Half a year was spent working in NYP, and the rest of the half was almost fully taken up by school, tuition and band. They are the fixed activities.. and of cos, my personal social life, with all the surprises, unexpected and funny, sad experiences took up the rest of my life in 2005.. Should really say that i have grown up and really seen more things that are happening. With such a rich and memorable history, i anticipate another fruitful 2006, to better enrich myself, to better cope with challenges and pitfalls in life. There is definitely more to be absorbed as i slowly approach adulthood--though a little reluctantly

Sparks 4.2005.12.30

Over. In a twinkle of an eye, the first half ended. Haa.. like i have said, it was very dream-like. I felt a little of that during rehearsal, but it became true in the concert. Guess it must be the platform and the spot light that made everything so so dream-like. Though dreams are beautiful, they are often unclear and blur. That was not really good as this made me blur of what i was playing and confused over what should come out from me. Haa.. Nonetheless, i have enjoyed the concert.. I really do not want this day to end. Seriously.

The day was long.. went to plaza early in the morning to buy some goodies and souvenirs, met sinpei and then we went off to meet my twin outside dunearn sec. Yawns.. that seems like yesterday. haa..

Reached Yuhua on time, started wrapping the souvenir before going around doing and not doing stuff that i should do. Anyway, all was smooth as the buses and lorries arrived and we loaded up and set off for vch.

Running up, going down, running in , running out was what happened to me after that. It lasted for quite some time and finally rehearsal was here! Ms Chan ran through the important parts, we tuned, tried, adjusted and then, my stomach growled. haa.. added into the symphony of noise we were making and i was offered pork from my left. haaa.. okie, not funny, but ya, before long, my seemingly long-awaited dinner was there for me to indulge in!! Yum yum.. Dinner was great! Partly cos i was really hungry, partly cos it was really nice! haha.. thought of it makes me hungry again! muahaha..Apologies to all for the limited water supply as this year we are really on tight budget.. Soon..the real thing was there for us to go..

The crowd was late.. many were streaming in here and there.. But i was glad that at least they were coming in.. hehe.. Before i realised it, the first half was over.. All i rmb was Jason's solo! so so so beautiful! =) Really mesmerising.. wooooo~~~

Interval was hectic.. Hot and frenzy.. haha.. Received this call from a special guest who really managed to surprise me totally! haa.. thanks cheecheemon..for such a pleasant surprise! Really so happy to see you! Though i was a little disappointed initially when u said u cant make it, the fact that u turned up in the end and was even prepared with a flower really really made my day! =) *hugz* Met frankie after that.. haa.. thanks for the choco and the present too!(to fang and kim too!) haha, thanks for coming! hope u guys have enjoyed the concert! hee.. the eggs so cute.. dun feel like eating them! hhaa.. wing, as usual, was a little lagged.. haha.. but the time she was to come in with the rest, the first bell sounded..

Second half came and go as swift as a gust of wind.. haaa.. Love all those pop and light pieces. They definitely helped in bringing the concert to greater heights~Luckily my Sky High remained high after Disco Party III.. I was so worried that my lousy lips will die and bring down the sky.. phew~~ heehee.. Let's Swing was dreamy.. haha.. but it was fun, as in, i was totally into it that i didnt really know what went on.. oopz.. was that good? haha.. nvm...

The concert came to an end.. but my excitment and mood just kept rising.. i was even more overwhelmed when i went out to meet wing, alexis and fabian! Cos, other than the 3 of them, i saw Daniel! wahahah.. another pleasant surprise that made me so happy.. hhaha.. A Really big thank you for coming yea? *hug hug* see you guys tmr!

Other than all mentioned above, of cos i was glad to see beng,shu hui and wenwei.. ade, where art thou! i missed you! thanks for the lao po bing and pineapple cookies! nice nice! haa.. Didnt manage to see jinzhan too.. A note to ah lai, thanks for the effort to make the flowers ah..stylo but they didnt last long..nonetheless, it is the thought that counts! =) Dear kailin, thanks for the flower and letter ya? muacks~

Too much more to be said.. With all these excitement and happiness.. there was more to be expected from me was all that i can say. I know i was not up to expectation, but ya, dun expect too much from me is all i can say?Sound really loser but ya, it is that much that i have tried and gave. Maybe more could have been done, but nvm, all's over.

Love Sparks 4, love section, love all who has supported and helped me all this while. *big hug* nitey.. it is 4.12am now. Time to ZZzzzzzzzzz.. tmr still have to wake up for tution! woshhh~~ hahha. nitez!

Dedicated to you-know-who

hEY.. dunno if you will come to read my blog this time round, but i am dedicating this entry to u for sharing that jing bao news with me on the eve of christmas eve! haa.. hope you know who you are cos you said u dun want your name to be mentioned this time round. I m not going to say that u r shuai or cool or anything to lie to you.. but ya.. i am happy for you! hahaa.. and i am hope i was of some help though i dun think i really helped much. Anyway.. congrats! hahaha.. happy for you! haaaa.. leave me a tag if you read this k, you-know-who.. hahah.. I somehow feel that i shd have left much earlier, cos things did not seem to turn out the way it should be.. but i seriously apologise for any unhappiness resulted due to me k? hope to see you soon and have a Merry christmas!
P.s. dun ask me who is you-know-who, cos no one else is supposed to know other than the 2 of us.. haahaha.. sorry but ya.. nothing too juicy to share too.


For all my dear friends.
Merry Christmas to all out there.. a really quiet christmas for me this year.. but i am glad to have my friends with me all this while. yeah! Silence is bliss too. May all of them have a pleasant new year and a smooth 2006 with their wishes granted. For those attached, may u guys have everlasting and sweet love ahead.. for those singles, dun worry, love will start knocking on ur door in the coming 2006.. hahaa..All the best!

...... ...

Why cant i be more firm and assertive? Guess i need to be , if not, my point will not get across. Argh. Though the holidays are ending soon, I am not really that sad as i am pretty optimistic about the new year. Cannot really explain why, but ya, simply happy. haha..

Met Cheecheemon and gang yesterday. Though a pretty short meeting, it was a nice one as it had been a long time since we gather. Seeing them, i can't help but miss my piglet cos she is our kai xin guo in the group--"piglet, i miss you!"

My 1000 pieces jigsaw is on its way to completion.. haahaa. hopefully i can get it done before the new school term.. cos if not, i will have no space on my table! muahahaa..

Sparks 4 is coming... pretty excited and i am happy that tickets sales are moving! haha.. yeah! hopefully all will turn out well and we will not give ms chan too big a heart attack. hee. To all those who are reading this, if you have not bought the tickets, msg me k? hahaa.. i will reserve tickets for u! Hope to see those who can make it.. =)

hOLs are ending..

Ongoings..
Went to Sentosa on Mon with my section. This is a different section from the one i usually hangs out with. This section is made up of my little juniors and i m the oldest in the crowd! How great a consolation that is for someone turning 20! Gosh.. hanging around with them just made me feels so old.. gosh.. cant stand it. Luckily i had Vicky, who managed to make me feel more at ease.. whahhaa.. No matter where we go, be it the bus stop, walking home, playing by the beach, Vicky and i will be following behind them.. and for the things they do(other than playing beach volley), we will watch them and kind of look out for them-- so much so i feel like a nanny! alamak.. Really cant hang out with them for too long as i will not remain sane. Anyway, i was there for xinran and weiran, who will be leaving Singapore to further studies in Canada at the end of thi month.. thinking that it is the first time they are inviting us for a section outing, i bangsei my classmate and went out with a bunch of kids. woah. One thing to note was that xinran and weiran have also outgrown the kiddy stage and i was glad to be able to catch up with them =) Hope that they will have an enriching time there... Bon voyage, twins!

Back
Mum is finally back from malaysia.. missed her..hahah.. though she was only back for a few days to look after garandma, things were kind of different.. i was so tired out.. haha.. not that i did a lot of housework, but the fact that i need to do the washing and basic maintenance of daily household chores over and above my out-of-house committments is a little hectic. Can totally understand and really admire the formidability of how my mum manage her work and household at the same time.. zai! ahha..was really relieved to hear that grandma is eating and sleeping well nowadays as happiness is the cure to all illness.. as long as she is happy, life will pass by faster and easier~ cant wait to see her back on her feet again =)

Surprise!
haha.. received a long distance call from our beloved and 'wanted' Mr ang.. hahaa.. So responsible and nice of him to actually call just to check and see if everything is going on fine at the tuition center.. No wonder the kids like him so much.. i was so happy to hear from him that for a moment, i thought he was back in Singapore. haha..So envious that it is actually snowing over there and he had conquered mount cook already! Gosh! so zai.. haa..see ya back soon!

Results...school..new semester..
Finally out.. at least the results are much better than what i have expected.. think it always help to be prepared for the worst as the happiness resulted from better outcome is hence greater. wahaha.. Hopefully next sem will be better especially since the modules are supposedly more manageable. Keeping my fingers cross.. MOre are coming in for the next sem, and i guess it is time to get my priorities right once again. i have already decided certain stuff and actions that are going to affect some people.. i m sorry but i sincerely hope to get those involved to respect my choice and decision. Taking up new challenges and letting go of some is a must..

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
This is one of the rare years that i do not have the mood and feel for christmas.. that kind of means i feel tired mentally, i m getting old too..that sounds really bad but fairly true. I have not taken the initiative to organise any christmas gathering but luckily, my pals have all been so nice and spontaneous to organise gatherings that i can attend with no fear of regret over the new year.. haa.. Cant wait to meet up with u guys! A merry christmas and a happy new year to all~

loSt

Kinda lost and don't know how to move on. Interpersonal relationships can be puzzling and hard to handle sometimes. I will not say that i have super good EQ.. but i can say, somebody just don't have it. Really don't know what i can do anymore. I am not feeling helpless, just that things are just not happening the way it should be. I can't bring myself to say that i am not going to bother anymore, but still, there is this lingering thought for me to say goodbye. alamak. I think we need to talk. Nvm

He is coming back again. Can't stand it. I don't want to be unfriendly, and at the same time i am trying hard not to give any wrong impression. All i can say is that every line that i typed or said, was typed with a tinge of disgust, especially when he becomes too friendly. Gosh, aren't i hypocritical? Cant stand it. But just dun want him to think that i am avoiding. But oh please, don't you find it weird to act shou again after so long? Gosh. wake up! Yea, please continue to think that i am busy. Argh.

Can things be spaced out evenly?Please dun let all good/bad things come together.. as i am not too sure how much can this seemingly strong me take. ha. tired.. shall sleep now.

moUnT OpHIR

mOUnt oPhIR

Disapointment. What a word to start commenting on a trip right? I went on the trip with great anticipation, hoping to reach the summit and enjoy the scenery from the mountain top. But, due to the large group size the time we took to scale the mountain is dragged and prolonged. At that rate of scaling, we were unable to reach the summit at the targetted time and get down before dusk. In the end, we ended up scaling only half the mountain,descending earlier than expected. Sigh.. the whole purpose of the trip was defeated. Who to blame??? Mainly the planning com, partly the physical strength of the members. Not everyone will have the same physical strength, that is something to be anticipated by the trip i/c, as such, group size should be kept small so that it is easier and more safe to travel as well. Smaller group is definitely easier to handle and the higher the chance of conquering the mountain. But, from the maximum pax of 18 people, it was increased to 27, almost up by 10 people. Technically speaking, this group is too big. Frankly speaking, if this big group consist of fun and interactive people, things would not have been that bad. But, it is just our luck to get a clique-ish lot who does not seem too wiling to mingle around other than be with their own group of friends. The leader also made no attempt to break the ice, niether did he ask for a buddy system to ensure the safety of his participants. Call himself a leader, call himself an i/c. Lousy is what i have to say to him. Though i have no experience leading a group of people on an overseas trip, some of the bear minimum that should have been done was just not quite there. Will u leave an injured participant alone to the care of a guide to bring her downhill and leave her all alone there while the rest of the members scale the mountain? Not to say that i do not trust the guide, but, who knows what will happen to her? Even after she is brought safely to our base camp, she is there to be alone in the wild for the rest of the 6 to 7 hours. Moreover, it is her first attempt on such a trip.

Anyway, the trip was not such a gone case when these unhappiness graudually pushed the non-clique-ish people together. And due to this, we made new friends and had a lot of fun on our own. I turned out to be the "rebellious" lot in the trip, but it is simply no point sticking to a half-hearted i/c leaving most of the task of leading to his counterpart while he enjoys his small honeymoon and unfair share of authority. bleahhhhh..Got to know a bunch of nice and really cute people..they include Libin,Pangren,Richard,bert and yenleng..Frank and jovial is what i like about them. At the end of the 2nd day, the 5 of them, together with me and fang, ended up booking a resort room, had our heavenly toilet and bed, leaving the wild and the natural to the group of anti-socials.. To be fair to all, not all of them are that anti-social, but all i can say is that they do influence one another and in general, they just send a negative signal to stop me from being friendly. Grrr..

Nonetheless, the last one and a half days were fun because of the new friends fang and i had made. We sang, ate and crapped our way..Under the guidance of bert, we left the group at larkin terminal and headed for our own seafood feast! muhahaha.. yum yum.. it is so nice.. the stingray, the sambal sotong, the he bo..whahaha..

Reached home at 1142 there about finally. Not to think about the disappointments, i have enjoyed holiday! Though a twist from what i have initially expected.

Nothing can describe the aching pain

She is not getting any better. Now is almost close to being bed-ridden. She has also shrank so much since the last time i saw her. The once healthy looking and beautiful granny looks so different. She greeted me saying,"ailin, wai po is no longer the wai po u knew le" Looking at her made my eyes watery, i did not even want to stay in the room with her though i know i should keep her company. Her health is still in good condition.. just that after 2 falls, her legs have weakened and i guess she has got a fear to walk on her own again. She is 84 already, cannot blame her for that actually. I can really feel that she is lonely- how can she not be when she is to stay in the room alone most of the time? My cousins and relatives cant be by her bedside 24-7 a day as they have got their lives to live also. I have also witnessed the care and concern showered to her over these months. However, there are bound to be problems staying together under one roof, no matter how close they are to each other. Being more like a visitor on my part, i can somehow feel the frustrations, irrtation, weariness from one side as well as the loneliness, the cry for attention and need for companion from the other. What can this long distance-Singaporean grand-daughter do?? Talk to her and try to make her happier with the short time i have with her. And yet, i didnt stay with her for long, cos looking at her, i just cant bring myself to smile, not to say try to cheer her up- no matter how much i want to. Can sense that she is trying to keep us by her side. Can also sense her boredom lying on the bed most of the time. I have tried to coax her to let me piggy-back her to move around the house, to bring her downstairs to the living room, to get her out of that room but she just cant overcome her fear. i feel so helpless.. She definitely needs attention and patience to bring her back on her feet, but who can do it? I can sense my relatives losing their patience.. it really really takes a lot of effort to look after an elderly. One day experience on my mum's part has proven so already. The thing that ached my heart most is when she asked me, "ailin, will i get better?", "ailin, i have such a bad life,i can do nothing but depend on people for everything and lie here all day till my death" She was so pessimistic that i went speechless and felt utterly useless sitting beside her. All i can do was to sit by her and listen to her. Mum is feeling no better.. there are just so many things for her to think and worry. ah! Guess it is really true to say that elderly are just like kids who needs the attention and care. BUt it doesnt really seem like an easy to understand point as kids are usually treated as treasures while elderly are burdens. If the care and attention given to kids can be given to grandparents equally, things will certainly be better. All i can say is no one is at fault, but a better plan is definitely needed to take care of this treasure.

i miss her.

My holidays

One more month to go before my holidays end..muahahha...

Pretty excited about my ophir trip next week, hope i have the stamina to endure till the summit.. heheh..Lacks exercise but i shall try my best!!

Yay~

Finally started on the 1000 pieces teddy puzzle that had been resting in my cupboard.

Should say teddies, their fur are mostly brown, but different shades..challenging but i like it.. hahah.. that's the point of fixing a jigsaw, the fun and satisfaction of piecing everything together.. =p

Next up will be to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire..i supposed the crowd has cleared.

Now is to find the time to watch with ah fang. woohooo~~

Will be relieving qw's tuition classes soon..

feeling abit excited and yet abit scare of what is awaiting me..

Cant help but get the feeling that i cant get away from tuition. Ha.

Was considering giving up my own tuitees to find another long term part time job, starting this dec and yet, i am taking up another tuition job, Hai..

i just can't bring myself to give up--both on them and on myself.

New resolution for 2006- "be a better tutor"

This is said easier than done.

They are getting out of hand, and my time is like getting shorter. Grrr..

Patience is definitely needed. Phew..

Noise level going up but grades going down..

Guess they are getting too comfy with me..

New techniques needed.

Shopping trips are to be backed up financially.

I should be more thrifty.

Should try harder.

But the things out there are simply too attractive and distracting.

tsk tsk.

*shake head*

30th Dec.730pm.Victoria Concert Hall.Sparks 4!

Calling all concert goers and my dear frens..

Come and watch this concert by Yuhua and River Valley Combined Alumni band!!

Do show ur support as the alumni are burning their weekends to practise!!

It will be a GOOD show! Definitely..

cos.. i m one of the players..haah..just kidding..i m not that good..

pOP and light pieces will be played.

That means, u wun fall asleep as the pieces will be familiar and pleasant to your ears..

Do not belittle yourself by saying that u cant appreciate music.. this concert will prove you wrong! Guess i'll make a good promoter. Contact me for tix k??

Please give support!!

post exams

Exams finally over. Glad, happy,elated,relieved,freed..whatever that is positive.. never felt so deprived before.. too much of liberty and unrestraint life the past half of the year must be the reason for my sickness towards a routine and mandane studying period. Seriously never felt so deprived of free time before..My concentrating span is definitely lower, keen-ness to study is definitely not there even though there was a need to. Worse still, when i was supposedly studying, i did not seem to be absorbing. Anyway, everything is over now.. i have tried my best.. or rather.. gave my best attempt to do what i can..and now, it is time to relax and at the same time, think of how to pull up my grades in the next sem..thats it.. moving on to my holidays..


Watched "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" today. a really nice and thought provoking show i must say. It makes you think twice about religions and faith, science and emotions. The trial scenes reminded me of "To Kill A Mockingbird" when issues regarding race, religions and prejudice are put on trial. Though the two stories are different in their plots, one thing that ties the both together is the conflict and contradiction between impartial justice and the beliefs, emotions and judgements that cannot be explained by only facts and proof. How to you prove sympathy, love or feelings for someone? How could one explained the presence of supernaturals unless they have personal experience with it? Subjectivity and possibilities are the main concerns that make the verdict a dilemma. In the case of Emily Rose, it is the conflict between the belief, possibilities and scientific facts that make the whole issue controvercial. Facts, no matter how true, leaves no room for possibilities and uncertainties. And how useful are facts in the ever-changing, you-never-know-what-will-happen-tomorrow's world?

Kind of affected by the movie.. convinced, not by either side but both of them. The facts do have their point, the beliefs are supported too..I always believe that religions are highly subjective and controvercial..because they have many implications and effects. Be it the devotes, or any other believers or non and for Emily Rose, it was her life at stake. Based on a true story, the reality hit me pretty hard and I do not know how to describe my feelings now, there is a tinge of sadness, and at the same time, pain and fear. I wonder how much of the show is based on truth but it is definitely a show worthy of our time, i should say. Being a believer of possibilities, anything can happen in this world, no matter how absurd it might seem to be..Catch it if you can, but there are certain parts that are pretty tramatising and freaky that i jumped and hid behind my jacket.haas

Down

Sinking deeper..